The Depression of Haruhi Suzumiya
by TheCourtFool
Summary: When Haruhi and Kyon get into an argument, Kyon tries to figure out a way to get her to listen to what he has to say for once, without endangering the safety of the world. But when Haruhi's memory turns out different than everyone else's in the brigade, and Kyon is missing from school, she starts to wonder just what's going on at North High.
1. Chapter 1

"Haruhi-"

The door slams in my face before I can say another word. "Quit your griping! If that's how you're going to act, I don't want your help! Just stay out of the way!" Haruhi was up to no good, as per the norm. She clearly doesn't have a firm enough grasp on what's right from what's wrong. It's like she's still four years old in a teenager's body.

"Kyon," a wild Koizumi appears at the top of the stairs, with a look of concern on his face. At least he's not smiling creepily at me like he usually is. "What's wrong?" I scowl, eliciting an annoyed grunt.

"That girl! That halfwit of a girl is what's wrong!" I say quietly, trying not to let the aforementioned halfwit hear this conversation. As much as I do want to speak up, I'm not stupid, and therefore, I'm not going to let her hear me call her a halfwit. "She barricaded me out of the club room because I told her it was bad to steal and lie and treat people like her toys! Is that so terrible?"

"Well, you aren't wrong," Koizumi says with a chuckle, "but how exactly did you convey that to her?" And there's that stupid smile. There is nothing to smile about, you asshole!

Back to the topic at hand, I guess I didn't think about that... "Well, not rudely..." Koizumi raises an eyebrow, still giving me that plastic grin of his. "Okay," I admit, "so I may have been a little blunt, but something needed to be said! First, she stole the Kendo Club's keys so she could get into their room, next she stole some of their equipment, blackmailed the members to get them to turn a blind eye, and then beat up a random student with the gear she stole and tied him up in OUR club room! And why go to all that trouble? She said she saw him do something strange, so she wanted to interrogate him! The nonsensical reasoning that she gave for not just talking to him like a normal person was that he could be a hostile alien or an evil esper, and she needed the equipment to keep from being defeated! Yeah, like Kendo gear would help her against an alien or esper in the first place!"

Koizumi laughs, only making me angrier, "Well, that is pretty extreme, even for Miss Suzumiya!"

"What do you mean? This is exactly something Haruhi would do." She's got no restraint whatsoever. Sometimes it's not such a bad trait to have, but most of the time, it just screams trouble.

"Well I'm just surprised she thought to get the kendo equipment in the first place!" Koizumi explains with a laugh. "She usually takes a more passive approach to these sorts of things. I hope she didn't hurt him, or else we would be in real trouble with the school, and probably the boy's parents." You're not even worried that she actually did the deed, are you?! I really can't tell because you won't stop smiling.

"Just a few bruises and cuts, but still, she's out of her mind if she thinks she can pull a stunt like that and get away with it!" I shout. "Just who the hell does she think she is?!"

"Who do I think I am?"

... And I'm busted. Someone had better get a body bag, because I'm about to die.

Haruhi slowly opens the door. I stop my ranting immediately, swallowing hard. She does NOT look happy. "Uh... Hey. Haruhi."

"Ha! So I'm a halfwit am I?" she gave me an icy glare, her hair overshadowing her downcast face, and making her look... kind of scary. I wonder, should I start running now, or wait until she's finished monologuing about how stupid I am? I've got it, I'll leap through the window and just hope for Nagato to somehow catch me, then I can go back in time with Miss Asahina to make sure this never happens... Well it's not a fool-proof plan, I know. But anything's better than staying here.

Without me saying another word, Haruhi continues. "If I'm a halfwit, what does that make you, huh? You're the one who can't get higher than a C on any of his schoolwork!" As much as I hate to admit it, she's got a point... "I honestly just did this because I thought it would piss you off. And people say what they really want to say when they're angry. Well, it looks like we know exactly what Kyon thinks now, don't we?"

I shake my head, "That's not tr-"

"Shut up and let me finish!" Her voice is cold, and harsh. She barks me into submission, and I grow silent. "You think I'm a idiot. You've always thought that. You think I'm impulsive and rude and ridiculous. Well I don't care! You can't judge me or criticize me at all, because you're too stupid to understand anything! You're never going to understand anything! And I'm not going to waste time with people like you. In fact, I hate people like you. No, I HATE YOU."

W-what did she just say?!

"You're always saying you can't stand me. Well, that's fine, because I can't stand you either! If we're going to be blunt, then here's what I have to say: I wish you would just disappear! I wish you had never been born!" I can't believe it. I can't believe my ears. She even looks serious... When I hesitate, she gets even angrier. "Get out of here! Go!" Haruhi points to the stairs. I'm reluctant to move. No, I can't really move. She can't really hate me... We're friends, aren't we?Does she really feel that way? I AM constantly complaining and telling her to stop being so... Haruhi-esque, but I never thought she took me seriously, or that it ticked her off to this extent. Hell, I didn't even know she paid attention to me. She ignores me so much I kind of got used to the feeling, you know? I guess I just say things I really don't mean, and she hears more than I want her to. And I'm also worried about something else... It probably sounds stupid, but if she really wished for me to disappear... would I? Would I just cease to exist? It's impossible, it just can't be true...

"I said go!" A painful kick in my leg from Haruhi makes me clumsily stumble towards the stairwell; I realize what she's saying as I almost tumble headfirst down the stairs, and quickly start my descent, trying to process what just happened.

Haruhi... hates me?

/

"Hey, Kyon!" Taniguchi wraps his arm around my neck as he greets me, obnoxiously hanging off of me for a moment. I swear, he's like a leech; sucking the last remnants of energy from my tired soul. Taniguchi is the last person I want to see at this hour, especially after what happened yesterday.

"You're way too close," comes my irritated reply as I shove my (regrettable) friend away.

"Man, who crapped in your cereal? What's eatin' you?"

"It's nothing," I say with an exasperated breath. "I'm just... not feeling very well, alright?"

"Hey, if you're on your period, you can just tell me," Taniguchi jibes, which earns him a punch in the arm.

"Asshole." Taniguchi laughs at my statement, and shoves his hands back into his pockets.

"Seriously, Kyon, if something's bugging you, you can tell me about it. 'That's what friends are for' and stuff, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Like hell I will. We keep walking in oh-so-pleasant silence. Hoping to leave it unperturbed, I try to avoid looking anywhere but the ground.

This hill is such a pain...

It's only been a day since Haruhi had her little temper tantrum. She never let me back in the clubroom, and avoided me for the rest of the day, but nothing has happened to me so far. It almost worries me to see that nothing is happening. At least when other problems showed up, Koizumi would tell me about some kind of closed space appearing, or Miss Asahina would tell me about a time distortion of some sort, or Nagato would have to fight off giant crickets... But I haven't heard anything from anyone. And it worries me, because it's me we're talking about here. Either Haruhi really DOESN'T care about me, or someone's just not telling me something.

"... So?!"

"So what?" I growl, cocking an eyebrow at Taniguchi. I can't have an internal struggle for one second without this idiot barking up my tree. Just leave it, already!

"So, tell me what your problem is!"

"I don't have a problem," I lie through my teeth. Taniguchi is the last person I want to talk to regarding these sorts of paranormal issues. I can't believe it's gotten to the point where I think it's weird that something weird ISN'T happening. Agh, now I just sound like Haruhi. And if I tell that to Taniguchi, he'll just think I'm a nut-job.

"Okay, fine, whatever. If you don't want to talk about it, just say so."

"I don't have a problem!" I shout. At least he's off my back, though.

"Yeah, yeah, I believe you. Stop your whining. I just really don't have anything to talk about, so I was bored."

Ugh, he's so annoying. Well, considering what I said earlier, it almost relieves me to see Koizumi standing at the school gates, with his trademark "I don't have a care in the world" smile. He's probably here to tell me about some weird happening that occurred yesterday.

"Kyon!" Koizumi waves to me.

"Let me guess," I say once I get closer, "you want to talk."

"That's right," Koizumi said with a nod. "But, we don't have much time now, so how about during lunch?"

I shrug as I continue my walk. "Fine by me."

/

I enter the classroom almost nervously, kind of wondering what Haruhi is going to say, if she is going to say anything to me at all. She has one hand on her chin, the other on the desk, staring out the window with that blank look she gets sometimes, when she's in one of her moods. I wonder if she's forgotten about the whole thing? Not a chance; her expression distorts as soon as I put my bag down. "Hey," I say, reclining into my chair. She doesn't answer.

"Come on, Haruhi, you can't stay mad at me for something so stupid, right?" She hesitates.

"Is that what you think?" she answers, looking angry. Just my luck, I've incurred the wrath of God yet again... "That what matters to me is stupid?"

"That's not what I'm trying to say!"

"Then quit saying it, you idiot. That's exactly what you're saying." I rolled my eyes, sighing. "Well if you're going to act that way, I'm not even going to talk to you. In fact, I don't want to have anything to do with you. Don't even bother coming to the clubroom. Just go on home after school. Nobody's going to miss you anyways."

Now, it's my turn to be angry. "I don't care what you say, what about Miss Asahina, and Nagato? And Koizumi?" I tack him onto the end for good measure, "Don't they get a say in this?"

Haruhi finally takes a glance in my direction, her brow slightly furrowed. She almost looks... Worried. "You don't even care... Hmph." Haruhi turns away, furiously. She's such a child. I wish she would stop taking me at my word, I really don't mean at least half of what I say. "You never did care about me, did you? You were always with Mikuru, or Yuki, you never bothered to include me, did you? Don't think I haven't noticed you guys, always having these private talks behind my back. You're constantly leaving me out! What makes them so special, huh?! What makes them any more deserving than me?! Why do I always get stuck hearing you complain about everything?! Can't you just be friendly to me for once in your life?"

Noticing that Haruhi is starting to raise her voice, I start to lower my own, trying not to draw attention to us. "How am I supposed to be friendly to you when you're so unbearable?" I whisper.

"I'm not unbearable! You just have no tolerance!" Haruhi continues to raise her tone, despite my efforts. She begins to turn some heads.

"Tolerance?!" I also start to speak louder, figuring that I might as well. "I'm the one who decided to tolerate you and your weirdness in the first place! You have no room to talk about my tolerance!"

Haruhi looks down at the desk in front of her, avoiding eye contact and pursing her lips tightly. "Still..." she mumbles, reluctantly, looking back up towards the window, "you're lousy company. And a downright lousy person. Just leave me alone." She folds her arms, and turns to look out the window once more.

Ugh... why can't I just apologize?

/

"It's about what happened between you and Miss Suzumiya," Koizumi says, his plasticine smile missing from his features. This could be worse than I thought.

"Right. I had some questions about that too," I say, scratching the back of my head uncomfortably.

"You first, then," Koizumi says, waiting expectantly.

"Well..." I take a deep breath. "Do you think she meant what she said?"

"What do you mean?"

"When she said that... u-uh, never mind. It's not important," I shake my head. I don't even know if I'm asking the right person. Well, of course not; I should be asking Haruhi herself. She's the only one who could really answer that. But, thanks to our argument this morning, she's even more unresponsive than she was before. I don't think she'll talk to me even if I try to apologize.

"No." I furrow my brow in confusion. "To answer your question, no; I don't think Haruhi Suzumiya really hates you, or wishes for you to die. I don't think she would wish a thing like that on anyone, no matter what they've done, especially not for something so trivial." Koizumi laughs, "But, of course, I'm not Miss Suzumiya, so I still can't accurately answer your question!" As irritating as that chuckle of his was, I allow myself a sigh of relief. That's good, I think the same.

"But..." I look back up at Koizumi, prepared for the worst again. "If she really did wish for someone to die," Koizumi looks sternly at me, surprising me a bit. "... Logic dictates that it will be done. So if I were you, I would try to make things right with Miss Suzumiya. As much as she may think she dislikes you, I believe that deep down she knows that she's lucky to have you with her. Still, even if she does hold a special place for you in her heart, her emotions can get out of hand. She may end up wishing something on you that she really doesn't want to deep down. So, the best you can do is say you're sorry, and make sure she understands why you got angry in the first place."

"Ugh, Koizumi, nothing is going to change that way! I've told her this stuff before, and yet she still goes off the deep end and does crazy things like that! I'm not going to stand by anymore and watch as she does whatever the hell she wants to because she thinks the world revolves around her!"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but it kind of does, remember?" Koizumi says with a smirk.

"I know, and I hate it! Why can't she just be a normal high school girl?! Maybe then I wouldn't have to worry about my life being threatened if I get her pissed off!" I shout, kicking the wall from frustration. She's such a pain, even if unconsciously so.

"Kyon, you can't change the reality of things. All you can do is work with what you have," Koizumi says with a shrug.

"Haruhi can," I say, gritting my teeth. "And it bugs the hell out of me. I won't apologize. I don't need to apologize to her. I said what needed to be said, and that's that. This isn't my idea of holding a grudge, it's just something that needs to happen. I'm not going to let her control me too. You guys can be her pawns if you want, but I'm my own person. She needs to learn not to take people for granted. One day, I may not be around. Not only that, but if I'm not there to hold her hand and make sure she doesn't do something absolutely stupid, someone else could be in danger!"

"Well you can't just ignore her." Koizumi put a hand on his chin. "Closed space is rapidly expanding. The celestials are appearing at an alarming rate. I can hardly spare the time to be here. The truth is... if things keep going on like this, the world isn't going to last two weeks. We don't have enough manpower to hold off all of them, and this morning, there was even another spike in the amount of closed space appearing." I guiltily lower my gaze. "You're going to need to do something about this, fast. Remember, Haruhi already thinks that you're one of the only things actually right in this world. Don't make her change her mind."

I'm actually kind of surprised to hear that. Sure, it was kind of obvious that that's what she meant when she brought just me into that closed space with her. When she'd given up on everything else, I was still there, wasn't I? I guess I just never thought about it like that. But if I'm the only thing in the entire world that she thinks is okay, why is she trying to get rid of me? "Yeah, well if that's the case, then why are we even having this conversation? Why does she say she hates me?" I voiced my concerns.

Koizumi shrugs. "Hah, dunno."

"Really? That's the best you can do?! Gee, aren't you the encouraging one!"

"Well, I have a few theories, but there isn't any way I can tell you a definite answer. Honestly, I think she's angrier at herself than at you. I think she's starting to have feelings she doesn't understand, and she's arguing with herself, because these feelings go completely against her ideals, as you know. And therefore, she had to pin her anger on someone. You just happened to do something wrong, in her opinion anyways. So technically, it ISN'T actually your fault. Nonetheless, you've got to do something about this. There's nothing any of us can do, since you are the source of the problem to begin with."

"So first you say it isn't my fault, and then you try to pin it on me anyways?!" And is he trying to say Haruhi's falling in love with someone? Or... something?

"I'm just joking," Koizumi laughs, putting up his hands defensively. "But I'm also kind of serious. You're the only one who can fix this. The fate of the world is literally dependent on what you decide to do."

"Again?" I groan, sitting back in my chair. This whole saving the world deal is starting to get a little grating. Haruhi's like my little sister; she plays around with her toys, makes a huge mess, and once she's done, she leaves them for me to clean up.

/

I knock on the door of the club room, hoping for the glorious maid Miss Asahina or, less hopefully, Nagato to answer, but instead I am answered with a quiet yet firm, "Who is it," from Haruhi. Damn, she'll never let me in.

I sigh. "It's the pizza guy."

"Liar."

"Come on, Haruhi, just let me in, please," I say with a groan.

"Traitors aren't allowed in the club room. Mikuru, step away from the door!" After a bit of rustling and a few small thumps from her feet hitting the floor, Haruhi leaves the door open a crack, peeking her head out. She still looks mad at me. And now, I know it's not even my fault. Well, it might not be, anyways. I can't even tell you how unfair this is. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk," I say, folding my arms. "May I please come in?"

"No, you may not," Haruhi glowers at me, "I have a very busy schedule, and 'make idle chit-chat with an ignorant loser' is not on the list."

"Haruhi-"

"We have somewhere to be, so get out of the way."

"W-we do?" Mikuru asks, as if she knows nothing of it. Haruhi doesn't even really have anything to do, does she...

"Yes, as of right now, we have to be somewhere else!" Haruhi declares. "It's too crowded here with Kyon and his stupidity. Let's go!" She scowls at me, adding, "Without you!"

"W-w-where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here!" Haruhi yells, pulling poor Miss Asahina along, closely followed by Koizumi and Nagato. You won't even let her change out of the maid costume first?!

They all brush past me, Miss Asahina and Koizumi giving me concerned looks. "Wait a minute!" But Haruhi leaves without saying another word. I take a deep breath, trying to resist the urge to say or do something I'm going to regret. Haruhi IS very angry about something. It's best not to upset her further. So I ended up simply standing there with a stupid look plastered on my face as they marched off, conflicted. I don't even know what I should say... Is there anything to say? I could say sorry, but then my time would have just been wasted. It probably wouldn't help much anyways, because that's not even why she's mad. Ugh, what do I do? I can't just let her leave. That's not an option. I don't have a lot of time left, after all. I need to say something. But... what?

I stood there, arguing with myself internally. And by the time I stopped my indecisive brain, the rest of the SOS Brigade was already long gone. I sigh out loud, looking down the empty hallway. I walk into the club room, sitting down in one of the chairs at the center table and looking around the room. I've got to do something about this. If not today, then tomorrow. I have to think of something. I make myself sit there for what feels like hours, trying to come up with something, anything to do. But everything I come up with just ends with her getting even more angry. I look at the clock. It's already 5:30. I still haven't thought of anything.

With a reluctant huff, I stood from my chair, ready to exit the room and begin my long trek down that God-forsaken hill. Sorry Koizumi, you must be working your ass off right now. I hope he doesn't get hurt in closed space. I wonder if it'll carry over into the real world as well. As weird as he is, he's still a friend, and I would hate for him to be-

Wait, that's it!

I whip out my cell phone and type in a familiar phone number at record breaking speed. After letting it ring once, someone answers. "This is Yuki Nagato," comes a monotonous voice.

"Nagato, I need a favor."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not sure what brought it on, but I have the weirdest feeling that something awful has happened recently. I can't put my finger on it, but I can't seem to shake the feeling. On this boring hike up the hill to school, I start to anxiously search around for Kyon, which is actually really weird. He's never this early to school, but I can't help but feel worried for him, for some unknown reason. I haven't seen him since I told him off yesterday, but that's still no reason to worry so much.

When we were walking around town trying to find stuff to do, the moron appeared out of the blue, and scared the heck out of us. So, after yelling at him for what felt like half an hour, he decided to give up and go home. That was it... nothing bad happened after that or anything, so I don't know why this feeling continues to linger.

I arrive at the classroom moments later, dropping my bag lazily on the ground and falling back into my chair. After we left Kyon in the dust yesterday, he's probably going to be mad at me. As much as I hate to hear his whining, he had it coming, the jerk. I'm not just going to let him off so easy. If I'm going to measure up to the higher standards of the brigade leader's role, I'm going to have to have a firm hand in these matters.

After a while, some of the other students begin to arrive. Every one of them, almost, has a terrible look on their face, as if their dogs died or something, and the room is silent as death. It's really unsettling to see the laughter and noisy banter of the previous mornings turn into utter silence. I wonder what could've happened to make everyone change so drastically. Maybe I was right, and something bad DID happen. I wonder why I haven't heard about it yet. I watch the news very carefully, specifically for anything weird (usually it's just a bunch of bogus, but sometimes it's worthwhile), so it must not have been THAT big. But everyone looks awfully depressed about something. I'll ask Kyon about it when he gets here.

As the students start to flood into the room, I begin to grow restless with my eyes on the door when Kyon takes his sweet time to get here. Jeez, can't that idiot be more punctual? He's always late, even to the fun activities... It's as if there's just a rain cloud constantly over his head, and he just doesn't enjoy anything... Well, I call him late, but it's just an excuse to make him pay for our meals, because I usually don't bring any money. Honestly, I just ask everybody else to arrive at least 15 minutes early. And I don't bring any money because I can always rely on him to pay... b-besides, isn't it the gentlemanly thing for the guy to pay for the food anyways?

By now, even the teacher has shown up, and I have yet to see or hear frown or groan from Kyon. Man, he picked the absolute worst day to be sick. Even the teacher looks melancholic, and I don't even have any idea what happened. Ugh, I almost think it's a cruel irony for me to depend on him for this kind of thing so much... And also, the jerk made Koizumi pick up the bill yesterday! He wasn't there to be punished, so I had to ask Koizumi to pay. Poor guy, he didn't even get there last!

The day goes by quick enough, but there's still no sign of Kyon. I almost call his cell during our lunch break. The idiot has some nerve, not showing up to school when something big has happened that I don't know about. I've got a half a mind to slug him once he comes back. The idiot's probably sick or something... Next time he gets sick, he'd better come to school anyways so he can tell me he's sick! I can't believe he has the audacity not to inform the brigade chief about such things!

I head down to the club room at lightning speed, shoving the door open when I arrive. Mikuru does a frightened little hop, spilling the tea she was pouring into the table. She's adorable, but I have no time for that stuff. "Hey guys," I shout, "have you seen Kyon?! He hasn't shown up to class yet." Koizumi and Mikuru stare at me like I have two heads. "What, did someone scribble on my face?" I ask, covering my forehead.

"U-uh..." there were tears in Mikuru's eyes as she stuttered. "A-are you trying to joke with us?"

"If you are," Koizumi says quietly as he stares down at the table with the same sad look everyone else wears, "it's in very, very poor taste. I didn't expect something so despicable from you."

"What do you mean, am I trying to joke with you? Is he sick or something? If so, I don't see why it should be so startling, I mean how am I supposed to know-"

"Miss Suzumiya..." Koizumi says, furrowing his brow, "... he was in an accident yesterday. Don't you remember?" W-what...?

"What're you talking about? We just sent him home, and he was on his way, remember? And then... he just left. What, is this supposed to be a prank or something? If so, this is a terrible joke. Think of something better next time."

"I'm sorry," Koizumi narrows his eyes, "I would think it'd be hard to forget your friend dying in your arms."

What is he talking about...? A memory, not my own, hits me (hard) as he says this.

* * *

 _"Leave us alone, already, okay? We don't need you, so just get out of here!" I folded my arms, upturning my nose at him defiantly._

 _"Haruhi, you don't have any reason to be acting this way! I said I was sorry-"_

 _"Sorry doesn't cut it! Now get out of the way." The light changed. And we missed our chance to cross the street and skip the traffic for the fourth time in a row. "Great, now we have to wait even longer, you idiot!"_

 _"Hey, I'm sorry, but we have to talk," Kyon said, grabbing me by the shoulders._

 _"Get off of me!" I shouted, shoving him back. But he was persistent._

 _"No, I'm not going to let you stay mad at me. If you have a problem with me, then tell me about it! Avoiding the dilemma is just going to make it worse!"_

 _"YOU are making it worse!" I yelled at him. "Now GET OFF!" I forced him backwards as hard as I could, causing him to tumble back into the street, and into the incoming traffic. A bus was heading straight for him. Time seemed to slow down as I realized what I'd just done. The driver tried to slow his vehicle, to dodge him. But by the time the bus started to slow, Kyon had already been hit. He was launched into the air, and hit the ground with a thud, rolling along the asphalt a few times before stopping to rest on his side._

Oh God... _I thought,_ what have I done?

 _I bolted over to his motionless form, rolling him over to see his face. Blood escaped his mouth, and also stained his shirt around his midsection. He blinked once, twice, then said with a few grunts, "Har... u..." He looked like he was struggling to even breathe._

 _"Shut up," I said, "if it hurts, don't talk. Someone call an ambulance!" I shouted, water starting to sting my eyes. "Are you okay?" He shook his head slightly, looking as if he was trying to hold something in._

 _"I'm... not..."_

 _"What did I tell you? Be quiet! I just needed a nod!" Yuki was on the phone with the hospital, asking for an ambulance. Soon, I started to hear sirens in the distance. "I'm so sorry," I said, unwillingly letting out a pathetic whimper. "This is all my fault..."_

 _He tried to say something, but as soon as he opened his mouth, his eyes grew wide, and with a few coughs, blood started to gush from it, soiling my shirt. And with that, his head fell back, and the life in his eyes disappeared._

 _"Kyon?" I whispered, the tears starting to flood down to his chest. I stared into his dead eyes, trying to find some sort of... anything, in them. He didn't look bored, or annoyed, or angry, or happy, or sad, or scared. He wouldn't even look at me. There was nothing. He was gone._

 _"Kyon?!" I shouted, shaking him slightly, "you asshole! Don't even think about dying on me!" Those emotionless eyes haunted me, simply causing more tears to escape my own. I could hardly see anymore. Not only that, but my head felt fuzzy. He was... gone._

 _"I'm going to make you pay for our meals for the entire month! And- and I'll make you wear embarrassing outfits and walk around town in them! And... and..." There was no response. I bit my lip hard, until I tasted blood, and put a hand over his face. I couldn't look at them any longer... "You idiot..." I sobbed, closing his eyelids over those dead eyes. "You stupid, inconsiderate idiot... Please come back! I'm sorry, I was wrong! Just please come back..." There was nothing else to do, nothing else to say. He was... gone._

* * *

I stumble back, supporting myself on the door. "That's not... that's not what happened..." I shake my head over and over again, as if somehow that'll change the reality of things. "That's not what happened!"

Koizumi pauses, still staring blankly at the table in front of him. "You're reaction is even worse than I anticipated," he says abruptly, shaking his head. "You hated the event so terribly, it seems you chose to completely erase it from your memory. A rare phenomena, but the brain does some strange things sometimes." Koizumi looks worried. "Do you feel alright, Miss Suzumiya?"

"I'm fine, something's wrong with you guys! Yuki!" I look to the aforementioned girl, who in turn lowers her book and mechanically averts her emotionless gaze in my direction. Actually, she's kind of scary sometimes... "You remember it, don't you?!"

Yuki nods. "I recall that you forced our former brigade member into the designated path of a moving city bus, resulting in the two colliding; consequently, Kyon died of asphyxiation, rather than the blow itself, which is the reason you had a small allotment of time to speak with him. In other words, his lungs filled with blood, and deprived him of his much needed oxygen, causing him to drown in his own-"

"Stop!" I scream, shutting my eyes tightly and clamping my hands over my ears. "Please, stop!"

"Very well. Furthermore, I communicated with the hospital on my cellular device, and a team of paramedics arrived to recover his corpse. His funeral will take place on the 2nd of November, and I, along with the rest of the brigade members, are expected to participate."

"That's not true! Mikuru, you can't say that you believe this crap, right?" I ask, desperate for the answer I want to hear.

Mikuru looks at the floor, the tears in her eyes more than evident. "I... I was there, Miss Suzumiya. I saw it happen..."

"But that's NOT what happened! It was completely different!"

Koizumi sighs, and folds his arms. "Miss Suzumiya, I'm worried for you. Are you sure you're feeling well?" The idiot thinks I'm crazy... but I'm not! Something strange is going on! And usually, I'd be all for this type of thing, but this is just messed up!

Swallowing the lump stuck in my throat, I lift a hand, to confirm what I hoped wasn't true. To my distress, I feel a sharp pain as my finger brushes against my bottom lip. There's a cut.

No. That can't be what happened. They're just playing a prank on me. This is all fake. And I'll prove it, too.

I charge past everyone and burst out the door, ignoring their protests as I sprint down the halls. I don't have any idea where I'm going, but I have to go away from here. They're just confusing me. I know: I'll go to his house, barge into his room, and turn it inside out looking for him. He's going to be there, the idiot. Who the hell do they think they are, pulling a prank like this? How awful of them! I'm going to punish them all severely! Jeez, I can't believe they would have the gall to do something like this to me!

After quickly marching down that boring hill, I dash into Kyon's boring neighborhood, open his boring gate, walk up his boring porch steps, and give three loud knocks on his boring front door. His entire atmosphere is plagued by a virus of absolute boring, no wonder he's such a slouch! I bet if I was here long enough, I too would become like... Kyon... Ew, I'm shuddering just thinking about it...

I'm greeted by Kyon's little sister, who cautiously opens the door with frightened eyes. What's got her so rattled?

"Hey, you!" I say bending down to her level with a smile. "Remember me? I'm one of your brother's friends!" With a small gulp, she nods and opens the door a crack more, stepping out from behind it. "Is he home? I have a few things to discuss with him."

I can see her eyes kind of tear up as I finish. "U-um... Well... h-he was in an accident..."

"Ugh, you too?" I say folding my arms in disapproval. They got to her. I don't know how, but they got to her. She's quite the little actress, isn't she? Stifling a groan, I say, "Can you ask your parents to let me in?" With a reluctant nod, she shuts the door and leaves me waiting outside.

Even if she was acting, it looked a little too real. Maybe something did happen? But definitely not the way they said it did. That doesn't even make any sense... I don't remember any of that!

A few moments later, a middle-aged woman opens the door, looking... tired. Definitely Kyon's mom. He takes after his parents.

"Hello there," I say, with a quick bow, "You must be Kyon's mom, right?"

After a small grimace, she nods. "Yes, I am she. You are?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya," I exclaim with a smile, "you may have heard a thing or two about me."

"Yes, I am aware of who you are. I never had the opportunity to say anything, but I wanted to thank you for getting my son to do something instead of lying around all day. I could never get him to do anything..." she looks down at the floor with a sad smile. "Please, come inside." Although she acts politely, she still carries around that aura of dejection along with her, like everyone else. Makes me wonder...

"So," I ask, walking inside, "where is he right now? Did he get sick? He never said anything to me, so we were kind of wondering where he was at school."

As I say this, she just furrows her brow more and more. "What?" she finally says, after staring at me in confusion for a moment. "Miss Suzumiya, my son was in an accident, if you don't recall. I would think you should, since you were there with him!"

I pause for a moment. She said the exact same thing. I doubt his mother would joke about something like this.

"Wait a minute..." I put a hand up. "So you mean he's really... dead?"

She averts her sorrowful stare, looking as if she's trying to hold back tears as she bites her lip, and says, "Do you honestly not remember...?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. "May I go look into his room?" I murmur hesitantly.

She gives me a nod of confirmation, still looking at the ground, and gestures to the stairs. I look towards them, and now that I'm about to go do it, I really don't want to look into his room. What if he's not there? What if what they're saying is true? I don't think I want to find out. I wish I could just go home and wake up from this awful dream.

I take a step onto the stairwell, and I can hear my heartbeat as clear as a bell. I bet Kyon's mom can hear it too, as loud as it is. I slowly bring my foot up to the next step, and my heart begins to beat faster.

He can't be dead, he just can't be.

That's two steps.

There's no way. He's up here. They're only playing a prank.

Three steps.

What if they're not playing a prank? What if I go up, and he's not there?

Five steps.

No, I can't think like that! That's just inviting bad news! He's up there, I know he is!

Seven steps.

When I get up there, he's gonna have hell to pay! They really got me going from all this, as much as I hate to admit it!

Ten steps.

I'll punish him so severely, he'll get PTSD! I'll never forgive him for this one!

I conquer the last stair, letting out a huff as I do so. My heartbeat is in my ears now, beating a million times a minute. With a sudden burst of courage, I close the gap between me and his door, marching up with the highest of confidence. I firmly grab the handle and yank the door open.

And sitting there in front of me... is his bedroom. Nothing more.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everybody! I want to thank you for all the nice reviews you've been giving me! It means a lot, even if they are from people I don't know. I'll try my best to keep the story interesting!**

 **Also, I might start getting a schedule together for this story, seeing how it's all over the place right now... This update was really slow and yeah, I know it's super short, but that seemed like a good enough place to stop, so... I'm trying to get better, okay? Well, anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

So, Kyon's dead.

That's about all I have so far. They keep telling me I killed him; accidental it may have been, but nevertheless, it was still basically my fault; but I don't recall ever having done what they say I did. Which is, needless to say, really weird. I remember it so differently, it's kind of scary. I can't have just made it up. But as I look into the coffin at Kyon's lifeless face, I can't help but accept the truth. He's gone, and he won't be coming back.

Well, that scares me too, I guess. Who's going to carry all the heavy stuff (Koizumi certainly can't do it by himself), and pay for our meals? And who's going to stop me from making my mistakes? As much as I dislike admitting it, he was right most of the time. But then why did I get so angry with him when he tried to stop me? If I was wrong, what made me lash out at him? I have so many questions, and so few answers, it's starting to get pretty damn annoying.

As his mother finishes the last part of her eulogy that I was definitely not paying attention to, I keep staring into the coffin at Kyon. I don't know how I feel about any of this. Maybe I'll feel remorse when I get back to the clubroom. Maybe then I'll realize how much I really miss him. Actually, I expected more from myself. I thought I would cry. No, I thought I would bawl. I thought I would be absolutely dead inside. I thought I would do something. Anything. But when I stare at his face, I feel... nothing. As if I've gone to the funeral of a complete stranger. That's probably even more unsettling than the fact that he's gone.

As the crowd starts to disperse, I simply stand there, wondering why I feel so empty. It's not every day that a friend of yours dies, and when they do, you're supposed to feel sad. So, why am I not sad? Kyon may have been a pain, but he, of all people, put up with me. As stubborn and stupid and... and unbearable, as I was, he was always by my side, wasn't he? He never called me crazy. He never made fun of me because of my eccentricities. He even basically came up with the idea for the club. I wouldn't even be there without him... I'd just be pouting at the world like I always was, waiting for something to happen. And I, the selfish, inconsiderate jerk I was, always shrugged him off, and told myself he'll be there tomorrow, I don't need to apologize now, or talk to him about this now, or do this now, or tell him now. I can wait until tomorrow. But now, he's not going to be there tomorrow. I can't wait until tomorrow to tell him the things he deserves to hear. I can't even do it today. And I wish so badly that I could. So why don't I feel anything?

With a sigh of frustration, I also make my way out of the building, with a downcast gaze and no umbrella to shield myself from the rain. How come it always has to rain at funerals...?

I fully understand that I'm never going to be able to make fun of him anymore, to hear his annoying groans, or to see that dumb smile of his ever again. It's just that I feel like he's never been here in the first place. Ugh, that's a bad way to say it... I feel like _I_ don't belong here. Like I was torn from my world, the one with Kyon, and placed in a separate one, without him. Is that actually what happened? No, more importantly... is this... what I wanted?

And then, it hit me. It hit me in the gut like a speeding freight train. So hard, that I stumbled, and fell backwards onto the ground.

That day in the clubroom, when I practically banished him from the club... I told him I wanted him to disappear, didn't I? I wished for him to die, and that's exactly what happened. Is this really what I wanted? I get the feeling someone in a high place wants to teach me a lesson. And it's certainly not going over too well with me. But does that mean... that this is my reality now? That Kyon's actually gone, and I'm truly to blame, because of my own shortcomings? This can't be what I wanted...!

"That's not fair!" I shout up to the sky, at whatever sadistic being that cursed me like this. "That's not fair to either of us!" People are starting to look at me strangely, wondering what the hell the crazy girl is doing. As usual, I don't give a damn. "You can't punish him because I'm an asshole! That's not right...!" I knew it was only a matter of time until the tears started to come... "You dumb bastard! If you're trying to teach me a lesson, consider it taught! Why should he have to suffer because of a stupid mistake on my part?! Why should we both get such an awful punishment for such a petty wrongdoing of mine? That's just..." My burst of energy soon diminishes, leaving me a messy heap on the sidewalk. "It's not fair..." I sob, realizing just how catastrophic a situation I was in. This is _not_ what I wanted...

Whatever this is, I know I can't do anything about it. And that means that he really is gone. It's stupid how helpless I am. I wish Kyon would come back. I really do. I don't want him to be gone. Even though I said I hated him, I really don't. Even though I said I wanted him to die, it's not true.

So why did he die? Under any other circumstances, he would have been fine, but I made this stupid brigade up, and I guess weird shit finally found me. I never once encountered anything remotely strange before, and now that something weird has happened, it got Kyon killed...

Ugh, what the hell is wrong with you, world?!

* * *

"Guys," Haruhi slowly opens the door of the clubroom. She looks... depressed. Any way you look at it, it's already going to be bad. I didn't think it would work so quickly... "Club is cancelled for today. You can all go home." She's cancelling the club? Well, I knew she was going to react, but not like this. I would think she would want her friends to comfort her...

"May I ask why, Miss Suzumiya?" Koizumi inquires, standing up from his seat, his smile all but vanished.

"Because I hate this."

"What?" Koizumi exclaims, startled. Well, I guess I am too. This was always her favorite part of the day, in our eyes. This could be really bad, now that I think about it... "You don't mean that, do you?!"

She looks at him with narrowed eyes. Well, narrowed eyes is an understatement; the girl shoots him a look so black it has a gravitational field. "I know you guys don't enjoy it either. Kyon never did, that's for sure." Hey, that's not true! I may have acted like I didn't enjoy it, but I really did! ... Sometimes!

"I know for a fact that's not true!" Yeah, thanks for backing me up, Koizumi!

"Oh really?" Haruhi's glare becomes a little less intense. "Name one time. One time when he actually didn't wish he was anywhere else in the world!"

"U-um..." Koizumi puts a hand to his chin. Come on man, think of something. There have been plenty of times, like when... uh... y-you've got this one Koizumi, not me. "When we went to the public pool! He had a good time there, right?"

Haruhi shakes her head. "That wasn't even a club activity."

"H-how about when... When we went to that island my relatives own? He had fun figuring out that murder mystery I had cooked up, didn't he?"

"That's not a club activity either, and no, I don't believe he did. Ugh, just give it up Koizumi. I know you'd rather be at home, relaxing right now." She turns, and points to Miss Asahina (although the motion lacks its usual vigor), who gives her a startled little hop in reply. "Mikuru. You hate having to wear those stupid outfits and stuff, right? And you hate how I always use you as my personal toy?"

"W-well... I can't say that I enjoy it..." she murmurs, looking down at the ground.

"That's what I thought." Haruhi sighs, saying, "You can take that off. And furthermore, you don't have to wear it again. You might as well just go home."

"Um... Okay..." Miss Asahina whimpers, setting down the teapot she held in her hands. "M-Miss Suzumiya, are you alright?"

"No. I'm not. I'm not alright. In fact, I wish I was dead." Huh?!

Koizumi almost jumps in surprise. "Miss Suzumiya, don't say things like that! Why would you want such a thing?!"

"Maybe if I was, Kyon wouldn't be." Haruhi starts to tear up, her knees begin to buckle. "If I hadn't said anything that day, if I hadn't..." Once the first tear comes, they don't stop. She keeps trying to form words, but just ends up stuttering unintelligibly as she cries. I can't help but look away shamefully. After everything that we've been through, I never once thought I'd see Haruhi cry. She was always so strong-willed, never gave up. But when Haruhi cries? That's a sign that all hope is lost. And it's my fault now, isn't it...

Koizumi kneels down beside the weeping girl, putting a hand on her shoulder, in a futile attempt to comfort her. Haruhi slaps his hand away, standing up from her seat on the floor. Tears still in her eyes, she weakly mutters between sobs, "You guys can find yourselves a new brigade leader. I quit." She tears off her bright red armband and tosses it onto the table, and then dashes straight out of the room. All I can do is watch her go, stunned.

Have I gone too far...?


	4. Chapter 4

"Nagato, I think we've gone a little too far. Can we please stop this?"

The small, bright-eyed alien shakes her head in response. "We cannot."

"What?!"

"To ensure the safety of this world and to keep this issue from ever reoccurring on a large enough scale to be threatening, that world will only be terminated once Miss Suzumiya completes her assignment or once it is destroyed by Suzumiya herself. Until one of those tasks has been completed, it is impossible for her to escape that alternate reality without consciously willing it. The Data Overmind instructed me only to return her when I deem necessary, and that time has not yet come."

"You're saying you won't do anything?!" I shout, incredulous.

"I did not say that," Nagato answers sternly. I pause, frowning. I do want to trust Nagato. But I don't want to see Haruhi like this any longer.

Against what may or may not be my better judgement, I sigh. "I trust you Nagato. If she really needs to get out of there, I know you'll pull through for us," I tell her, reluctantly. She nods in reply, which is somehow more reassuring than words. "But that aside... she could be like this for who knows how long," I mutter, bringing a hand to my face in exasperation. "Ugh... I'm sorry, Haruhi, just hang in there, okay?" I put a hand on top of the sleeping girl's, as her face contorts with fear. Soon after, her features begin to soften, and she once again looks peaceful. Haruhi has been asleep like this since a few days ago.

What appeared to happen was that she was just sleeping in her bed like this, and hadn't woken up for school. When her parents tried to wake her because she was late, they were unable to. She was in some sort of a coma. So, they brought her to the hospital, and they put her in a hospital bed and gown, and now, the poor girl has to eat out of a plastic tube in her arm. They say that if she doesn't wake up soon, they'll have to do surgery to implant a G-tube into her stomach. Not the ideal way to live.

Now, what actually happened behind the scenes is my fault. That day when Haruhi screamed me out of the clubroom, I made up my mind to try and figure out a way to get her to listen to me, at least for a moment. What can I say, if I didn't, the world would come to an end. So, I had a talk with Nagato. I asked her if she could do that thing she did before, where she used Haruhi's power to mess with the world. Except this time, it would be a bit different. First off, we just placed her in a different dimension, instead of altering the world we were currently in. And, since Haruhi can't just disappear out of this one (that would be kinda awkward, if her parents just found her gone), her consciousness was basically just fused with the other Haruhi's, which is where she got two memories from, and her body was left here.

Nagato and I are able to spectate this world any way we want while still being in the first one, but we can't actually intervene. We needed to use another world because one, I don't actually want to have to die, and two, I don't want to accidentally destroy this reality. Since no one had any better ideas and the universe was slowly coming to an end, the Data Overmind thing allowed it, and told Nagato to act immediately, so I never even got a chance to screen it with the others.

To try and keep Haruhi from destroying that world at least for a bit, we wanted to make Nagato keep the power to create closed space. But, to disallow Nagato from exploiting this power as a result of any bugs in her system, the Data Overmind decided against it. Nagato is also being very closely monitored, apparently, so she can't make any moves herself... that part kind of ticks me off a little for some reason, but it makes sense, so I've got no room to argue. So, this is all we can do. Sit and wait. Because Haruhi still has all of her power.

So yeah, the world isn't going to end just yet. But we also might destroy Haruhi's sanity, with the way things are going now, and that could be even more dangerous to us. I thought this would just motivate her not to take people for granted, make her quit being an asshole because people don't like it when she breaks all the rules in a big way, not make her absolutely desolate. Maybe I'm worth more to her than I thought?

Agh, who am I kidding; a friend of hers died in her arms, and she has a totally different memory of the entire thing. That would make anybody go crazy. I'm just flattering myself.

"How is she?" I hear Koizumi's voice from the entrance. "Has she woken up?"

"No, not yet. She's going to be here a while, it looks like," I said, looking back at him.

He visibly grimaced. I've never seen him do that before. Which reminds me, I haven't seen that smile of his for a while now either. "How bad is it, exactly?"

"She's... depressed. Extremely depressed." I stare down at the floor with guilt. It is, after all, my fault. You can't blame me for doing what I did though. We may not even be here if I didn't do it. Well... even though that's true, she shouldn't have to go through all this. It's completely awful to know that for the next few days at the very least, Haruhi will be going through this. It's awful for me to have to watch her go through this. On that note, it's awful what I did to her...

"I see," Koizumi replies, his face also downcast. "I've said it to you many times. Don't doubt your worth to her. Even if it doesn't seem like it..." he sighed, sitting down in a nearby chair, "you really mean a great deal to Miss Suzumiya."

"Hardly," I quip, scowling. "She hates me, remember?"

"You and I both know that's not true."

"I bet she would if she knew I did this! She'd hate me for sure, if she doesn't already!" I yell, tightening my hand into a fist. "Besides, it's just your words against hers, and I think she should know better about whether she hates me or not!"

"And I'm sure she could forgive you, after all that you've forgiven her for!"

I look away. That's no comparison. Not by a long shot. "She's not the kind to forgive and forget; at least, not on purpose."

"Ugh, you don't even deserve it..." Koizumi mutters, through gritted teeth. He doesn't even seem to be talking to me anymore, he's just mumbling unintelligibly to himself. Don't deserve what? To be forgiven? If that's what he's saying, well, he's probably right, but I've never heard him sound so spiteful before...

"Please, stop fighting!" Miss Asahina bursts into the room, pleading with us. "You aren't going to fix anything this way, you'll only make it worse! T-Trust me, if you classified information, then you'll end up classified information! And, I know it's hard to tell when I have to censor it, but that's really bad! Not only that, but you're also not going to classified information! And if you don't classified information, then-"

"It's okay, Miss Asahina, we get it. We won't fight." I allow myself a sigh, looking back down at Haruhi's tranquil face. Please, just hang in there...

"Hey, Mikuru, you can't just sprint ahead of me like that! What if you ran into some pervert?!" The green haired ball of energy we call Miss Tsuruya pops up behind Miss Asahina, hands on her hips and an agitated look on her face.

"I-I'm sorry, I heard a commotion so I wanted to see whether or not Miss Suzumiya had woken up yet..." Miss Asahina whimpers nervously, twiddling her thumbs.

"Aww, it's okay, Mikuru!" Miss Tsuruya coos, hugging the poor Miss Asahina tightly. "I'm not that angry. I swear, you're the goddess of cute!" Miss Asahina tries to laugh as she's practically being strangled by her friend, but her efforts are quite futile; she just ends up having a coughing fit, and Miss Tsuruya fawns over her for the next 5 minutes, smothering her with apologies and compliments. Koizumi and I can't help but smile at the scene, even after all that's happened recently. Haruhi would love to be awake for this, and would probably even be an active participant too...

/

"Haruhi." She doesn't answer. Not that I was expecting her to.

"Haruhi?" Nothing.

"Haruhi!" I waved my hands in front of her face. She simply sits there, staring through me. "If only you could hear me... this could all be over..."

"No." W-what? She can hear me?! "I don't want to see the nurse, Kunikida." I look to my left to see the aforementioned boy standing there. Thanks for getting my hopes up, you fake jerk... Even in a digitally re-fabricated world these guys are annoying. He's been pestering Haruhi all day in the absence of Taniguchi, who decided to take the day off, and (of course) myself. That and that alone is the reason she now knows his name.

"I'm sorry, you just look really bummed out..." He frowns. "I, um... I know you and Kyon were close and everything, so I thought maybe you should take a couple of days off too, you know? You don't really look too good."

"I could say the same of you," Haruhi replies, continuing to gaze straight forward. I then notice the clothes she wears: all black, even days after the funeral. Including the formerly bright yellow headband. She's actually... grieving? Like this? The outfit reminds me of the dark school uniform she wore when she went to Kouyouen Academy in that other alternate universe... I start to get sick to my stomach, as if someone just punched me the gut. I made her that depressed? That's not right, this is not right...

It's not appropriate dress code at our school, but after seeing that dead look in her eyes, I don't think anyone had the heart to say anything about it. Granted it's still relatively close to the uniform, but it would still be considered punishable. Man, I feel like the scum of the earth for doing this to her. But it was done for a good reason, right? It needed to be done, right? I saved the world, didn't I?

Ugh, trying to justify it is just making me sound like an even bigger prick.

"Sorry for bothering you, Miss Suzumiya, I'm just worried about you is all," Kunikida says, a sincere expression of concern on his face.

"Don't be. I don't deserve your pity," she responds icily. Kunikida knits his brow yet again.

"Excuse me?"

"Leave me alone, please. I just want to be alone right now." The words were so cold, I think Kunikida just cringed.

"Alright. But I'm still concerned."

Haruhi disregards his last statement, resting her head on her arms, and her arms on her desk. She really isn't doing well. Of course she isn't; nothing can ever be that easy with Haruhi Suzumiya, can it?

/

"Miss Suzumiya!" Koizumi waves to her from across the hall. Haruhi stops, and averts her gaze from the floor. It's lunch time, so Haruhi decided to take a walk around the school as opposed to eating her lunch.

"What."

Almost wincing at the venom in her tone, he says quietly as he approaches her, "Can we talk for a moment?"

"Why."

Koizumi clenches his jaw shut. He seems to be at a loss for an answer. "Well," he mumbles finally, "does one need a reason to want to chat with a friend?"

"No. But I don't want you wasting your time."

"I beg your pardon?" When she doesn't answer, Koizumi continues. "I just felt the need to discuss some things with you."

Haruhi glares at him. "Is it about the club?" she mutters, folding her arms.

"... The club was disbanded..." Koizumi tells her, reluctantly. This appears to have gotten Haruhi's attention, but only for a split second. The club was disbanded? Why haven't I found out about this until just now?

"Hmph," Haruhi grunts in reply.

"It's about you," Koizumi says. "You're unwell, are you not?"

"I killed my friend." Haruhi is staring daggers at him.

"It was an accident."

"It was stupid. I'm stupid. I'm inconsiderate. I'm selfish. I'm worthless. I should've been the one in front of that bus."

"Miss Suzumiya, blaming yourself isn't going to make it any better. The best you can do is learn from your mistakes."

"My mistakes?" she laughs, coldly. It's a sound I've never heard from her before. It scares me. "Is that what you call all this? A mistake?" Koizumi swallows. He looks just as afraid as I feel. "It was a simple mistake, was it? His death was just a little mishap, huh?" She looks angry, now. Her hands have tightened into fists.

"That's not... I worded that poorly. I meant to say-"

"What you say and what you mean can be two different things," Haruhi told him, her face returning to its empty state. "Please, just go about your day, Koizumi."

"So what, I'm just going to stand here and let you be miserable? I'm sorry, but that's one order I just can't follow."

"Well I deserve to be miserable after what I did!" I was just thinking the same thing, Haruhi. "I can't believe you can even look at me anymore," Haruhi stares at the ground, gritting her teeth. "I disgust even myself. And you're trying to make me feel better? Now I don't know what's more repulsive; me, or you trying to tell me it was an accident. There is no such thing as an accident. This was no accident, and I think you know what I'm talking about."

"What? Miss Suzumiya, with all due respect, you're spouting nonsense..." Koizumi waves her away, even though he knows very well that in a way, she's right.

"Am I?" Haruhi asks, peering up at him. "You know I'm right, don't you, Koizumi? Think about it: I scream at Kyon that I want him to disappear. And no more than a day later, he's lying dead on the ground. That is no coincidence. There is something else going on here. Something I'd rather not mess with. You can go ahead and get yourself in whatever trouble you like. Just know that I'm not going to be there with you. This is the hand I've been dealt, so I have to live with it. Or... not."

"Miss Suzumiya, listen to yourself! Do you hear what you're saying? I admit these past events did seem kind of strange, and this is a hard thing to go through, but these sorts of things happen all the time. Yes, there is nothing we can do about it. But the Haruhi Suzumiya I know would never sit around and mope, never admit defeat even to God himself!"

Haruhi stared vacantly at the floor. "The Haruhi Suzumiya you knew died a week ago with Kyon." Koizumi is silent. "I am not the same person. I will never be the same again, because I've realized the destruction I caused. I've realized it can't be fixed now. And I feel awful now. I can't even describe how..." A tear falls from her face. "I wish... I wish I was dead." At that point in time, something happened. At the same time she said those words, something shifted. No, I can feel it shifting even now. Something's not right. No, that's not it... It's not that something's not right.

Something's very wrong.

A loud siren starts to blare throughout the school, and I hear an urgent voice over the intercom, "Everyone get to the lower levels immediately! The school has been targeted for an air raid!" Many shouts and screams erupt in the halls as time seems to slow to a crawl. Haruhi just stands where she is, waiting patiently.

"Miss Suzumiya!" Koizumi shouts, "We have to get out of here! Please, come with me!" Haruhi simply stares at the floor, ignoring Koizumi entirely. What, is she crazy? All hell's breaking loose, and she can't pick up her feet? What's wrong with her? And who the hell is attacking the school? Why? So many questions, so few answers... Honestly, it's starting to get pretty damn annoying.

Then it dawns on me, and all of this starts to make sense: that psychopath just wished for this to happen, didn't she?


	5. Chapter 5

This is bad. Really bad. "We're... in a bit of trouble," I say, upon returning to my own reality. That's the understatement of the century. Honestly, this is too terrible to put into words. Ugh, I wish I could be anywhere else, doing anything else, having anything else happen... But no, I'm stuck here. In this hospital room, standing next to the bed of our unconscious fearless leader: Haruhi Suzumiya. "I don't know how to say this, but..." I can't help but hesitate. They won't like this.

"But what?" Koizumi presses.

"Haruhi Suzumiya has attempted to end her life by means of her own powers," Nagato tells them. Their eyes grow wide with panic, and Miss Asahina takes a sharp breath in.

"What?!" the others shout. Yeah, I knew they wouldn't like it.

"It's not the end of the world!" I say, waving my hands around frantically.

"It very well could be!" Koizumi argues, gritting his teeth. He seems a lot angrier than usual lately. The typical "I don't have a care in the world" smile hasn't shown its face for a long time now. It's honestly really unsettling.

"But the thing is it's not! ...Yet! Cause she missed!" Koizumi folds his arms and shakes his head incredulously. Miss Asahina starts to tear up. Be still, my beating heart... "Come on, we can figure this out. Just like we have every other time something like this happened!"

"Something like this has never happened before!" Koizumi shouts angrily. "I have no idea what to do! Why didn't you let us bring her back?! What possessed you to do something so stupid?!"

"I don't know! I guess I thought she'd have to pull through on her own, or something ridiculous like that! I had no idea what I was doing, and I had no idea she'd resort to anything like this!"

"Oh really? I didn't realize. Well, thanks for clearing that up," Koizumi mutters, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he folds his arms.

"What about you? I didn't see you coming to help me in the slightest! All you did was pressure me into doing something reckless!" The esper doesn't reply, but simply stares at the ground guiltily.

After a few moments of silence, Miss Asahina chooses this time to mumble, "W-well, I can see where you were coming from, Kyon. If Miss Suzumiya doesn't get through this, things might end up going back to the way they were. She could shrug it off as 'just a dream,' and then we'd continue to have the same problems... J-just a thought." Wow, thanks for backing me up, Miss Asahina... I give her a thankful smile, at which she blushes a little and smiles back, looking down at her feet.

"You are correct." Nagato adds, looking blankly at Koizumi. I'm glad for all the support, although I'm still unsure myself whether or not I did the right thing. "For Miss Suzumiya's mental state to improve, and to keep future incidents from occurring, this was the best available option. We both participated in the brainstorming, if that is of any comfort."

"Miss Asahina and Miss Nagato have a point, as much as I hate to admit it," Koizumi says, trying his best to lift the corners of his mouth as well, as he sighs in defeat. "You didn't do a bad job. Not that you did a good one either, but... Sorry for getting so angry with you. But, you know, there still is the question of what we're going to do about this."

"Right. Nagato, do you have any way to change that instance of... whatever it was at all?" I ask.

Nagato nods. "I can enable us to communicate with all of the SOS Brigade members."

"Wha- why haven't you done that before?!" I grumble, irritated. Seriously, this girl never does anything that you don't directly tell her to do.

"You never asked that of me." See what I mean?!

"Right... Will we be able to talk to Haruhi?"

"Yes. But to avoid her confusion, and furthermore, suspicion, we must try to avoid speaking to her. Additionally, despite the otherwise extenuating circumstances, the original problem still remains and needs to be dealt with appropriately, and this is still our best solution," Nagato says plainly.

"Damn it, I thought we could get this over with quickly..." I mutter, slumping down into a chair. "So, looks like we've got to jump through a few hoops for Haruhi again." Flaming, lethal, white-hot hoops of death. "But hey, we can get through this, right guys?" I put a hand on Haruhi's shoulder. "I sure hope she can, or else we all could be screwed..."

"...Yes, you're right. We're all going to have to work together on this. Haruhi is going to make it out of there alive, no matter what. Although I'm not entirely sure what would happen here if she died in the artificial world, we still can't take our chances. We've got to save her," Koizumi agrees, still staring at the ground.

"Miss Asahina?" I say, averting my gaze to her.

"Okay, I want to help too!" Miss Asahina says, nodding and giving me the brightest smile I imagine she can, under the circumstances. Somehow, it lifts my spirits.

"Alright. So, let's get started."

/

I hug my knees closely to my chest, resting against the wall. Koizumi sits next to me, anxiously fiddling with his pant leg. A lot of the other students are with us, here in the basement of the school. It's so cramped...

We've been down here for quite a while. The explosions won't stop. I tried to go out there a number of times now to see what's going on, but every time, Koizumi has kept me. I've decided to humor him for now, so we simply wait. I don't know who's attacking us, or why, but if Koizumi hadn't dragged me down here, I'd probably be dead. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

"Miss Suzumiya!" Mikuru waves to us from across the room, her hand barely poking up above the many heads in the crowd of people.

"Miss Asahina?" Koizumi perks up a little, looking for her in the sea of students. She finally squeezes by everyone and takes a seat next to me. "Are you okay?" Koizumi asks her.

"Yes, I'm fine. And you?"

"We're alright. An explosion barely missed us."

The skittish girl shuddered, and said, "Scary. A lot sure has happened this past month, and none of it has been any good..."

"Isn't that the truth," Koizumi agrees, grimacing. "I wonder who could be attacking us. And why here, of all places..."

He's got a point. There's really no reason that our school, out of any other place, was attacked. We may be kinda close to the ocean, but not as close as others. And besides, we're in the more southern part of Japan—who would be attacking from under us? Taiwan? Too far, and no real reason. China? Why? And why from under us? Our relations didn't seem to be getting any worse anyways, there just wasn't any reason for them to attack Japan. Maybe it's a random terrorist attack? That said, this is some awfully good quality equipment for terrorists. A single bomb, maybe. Perhaps even a kamikaze pilot, but an air raid? Not likely.

Regardless... what a time for something like this to happen...

"S-so, Miss Suzumiya, how are you holding up?" Mikuru offers with a timid smile.

"I'm fine," I purposefully grumble in reply, "I just want this crap to be over with already."

"I hope no one was hurt," Mikuru says, looking at the floor. "That would be... bad."

"I guess. But it can't really get much worse from here, at least," I mumble.

Koizumi shrugs, saying, "Better not tempt fate," with that eternal smile of his. It's almost good to see that through all this... whatever, it's still going on strong. I wish I was that enduring... Jeez, what's wrong with me? I've got to stop moping around like this and do something. I've got to... to... I don't know what, but I've got to do something other than nothing! I don't give a damn if God himself is doing this to me, I'm gonna find a way out of it! I'm going to stop this mess and get Kyon back somehow!

"This is stupid," I announce, standing. "Why am I being such a baby?"

Koizumi cocks his head like a pigeon, saying, "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean? You know what I'm talking about. This isn't me, and I can't keep it up." I do my best to give a big smile, and turn around, proclaiming loudly and proudly as I put my hands on my hips, "We've gotta do something and stop sitting around like a bunch of sloths!" Ugh, I sound so fake. I'm not ready to do this, why am I trying?

"That's the spirit, Miss Suzumiya!" Koizumi chimes, backing me up. "Although I don't really know what exactly you're talking about, or see where you're going with this at all."

"Do... what?" Mikuru asks me, confused. I ignore her.

"Has anyone seen Yuki? I haven't seen her since yesterday." We could at least group up. That's a start.

"I am here," Yuki says, from my left.

"Good! Perfect timing!"

"Miss Suzumiya, if I may..." Koizumi says, and I look in his direction. "Despite our resolve, we are still trapped in a basement under fire by an unknown enemy, aren't we?"

"You make a good point," I murmur, putting a hand on my chin. "I wonder how we can get them to stop..." Jeez, how annoying. I'm trying to get motivated over here and a bunch of terrorists or whatever are bombing the school? Inconvenience at its worst. Wait a minute... "Hey, quiet down for a second. Listen." Everyone was silent for about ten seconds.

"I don't hear anything..." Mikuru mumbles, looking confusedly at me.

"Exactly, there's no more bombs dropping on our heads!" I say, grinning as widely as I can. Perfect timing... Hopefully they don't do this whole evacuation crap to get us all to safe places and stuff. That just makes everything take longer.

"Students, listen up! We've received word that the attack is over, and we will begin the evacuation process." Damn it! Well, I guess not everything can happen the way you want it to... "Some firefighters are already on the scene, and once they give the okay, we will file out of the shelter in an orderly manner, and refrain from shouting, pushing, panicking or fighting of any sort." Yeah, right. I'm pushing, shoving, screaming, and kicking my way out, and nobody's gonna stop me.

/

The clubroom... is completely fine. The rest of the school got the hell bombed out of it, but the clubroom remained intact. I'm not surprised, but I am wondering whether that's a coincidence. Nagato, Miss Asahina, and Koizumi are gathered around the table, waiting expectantly while Haruhi sits at her desk, scribbling something down on a sheet of paper. "Koizumi, can you hear me?" Every other time I've tried this, it didn't work, so I don't expect it to this time.

"Wha- who said that?" Koizumi looks around, shocked. I'm pretty surprised as well.

"Who said what?" Haruhi says from her desk. "I didn't hear anything."

"Don't! Don't tell her anything!" I shout, before he can say anything. "It's me, Kyon. She can't hear me, because I'm only talking to you, okay? I know this sounds weird, but please humor me."

"I-it must have been my imagination!" Koizumi laughs, scratching his head and giving Haruhi the usual apologetic smile.

"Right. Ask to step outside, so we can talk," I tell him, and he gives me an almost unnoticeable nod.

"May I leave for a moment? I-"

"Yeah yeah, go ahead," Haruhi cuts him off, waving him away as she frantically writes.

He steps outside, and goes to the base of the stairs. "Are you... there?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

He smiles, and says, "It's good to here your voice again. So... mind explaining what's going on?" Right... That's going to take a lot of explaining. And I mean a lot of explaining.

"Well, first of all... you're not the real Koizumi."

"What?" he says. "What do you mean I'm not the real Koizumi?"

I tell him simply, "You're a fake. A digitally constructed copy. Like at the mansion up at the mountain. Sorry man."

"I-I see. That's... unfortunate, I guess."

"Well, you see, what happened was that Nagato used Haruhi's power to make this new world, sorta like she did before that one time, remember?" I explain.

"Yes, I remember. So... This Miss Asahina and Miss Nagato are fakes as well?"

"Yep."

"And Miss Suzumiya?"

"Now she's the real deal. The world was going to end and stuff if we didn't do anything quick, right? So we put her in this fake world so she would accidentally kill a fake me so she would learn not to take people for granted."

"An ingenious plan, but risky. How can you be sure Miss Suzumiya won't end up taking her own life?"

"We can't. Which is exactly why we need your help."

"Just ask and I'll do it. Even if I am a fake, I'll do anything to help Miss Suzumiya, not to mention the real me."

"Just..." I pause. "Watch her. Make sure she's not doing anything stupid. And... Try to find out what she wants. That may involve spending more time with her, but anything that gives you more insight into what she's feeling is good."

"Got it. How do I report back to you?" Koizumi asks me.

"It should work kinda like what I'm doing now, Nagato set something up. You just have to want it, you know?" I say, trying to think of different ways to explain it.

"I think I understand. I'll be sure to try it later on to see if it works, and if it doesn't, I'll tell you the next time you talk to me," Koizumi says, nodding. "Um... where are you right now? It's kind of awkward not knowing."

"I'm right in front of you," I murmur, scratching the nape of my neck.

"Ah, okay. Oh, one more thing: what should I tell the others?" he asks.

"Nothing for now. If it's absolutely necessary, feel free to tell them the situation. But I'm sure Nagato already knows, and I don't want Miss Asahina to worry more than she has to, even if she is just a copy."

"Alright, sounds reasonable. Well, I should get back to the-"

"Koizumi!" Haruhi shouts from the door, as it swung open. "... Were you just talking to yourself?"

"Of course not! Why would I do a silly thing like that?"

Haruhi narrows her eyes before continuing. "Well anyways, we're going to meet up at Yuki's place. I'll tell you what's going on on the way."

"Sounds good to me," Koizumi tells her, putting on a smile.

"I'll talk to you again later," I say, and he gives another nigh imperceptible nod.

"SOS Brigade, move out!" Haruhi says, beaming as she pointed her finger towards the stairs. It makes me smile to see her energetic and determined again. Hopefully things are going to get better from here on out.

/

 **A/N: Wow, that was a LONG TIME without updating. I'm really sorry everybody! I was working on so many other things, I completely forgot about this... Hopefully I'll be updating more frequently now, but no promises! Hope you guys liked that chapter, I know it was extremely short... What do you guys think Haruhi's plan will be? Post your theories in the comments! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

"It's clear we won't be heading back to the clubroom in a long time, or the school at all, for that matter. Nobody got killed, which is good, but North High is partially destroyed. They may not even be able to get the school up and running again, in which case we'll have to move to a different one... But that's okay. We need some time off," I say, my voice stern. We've just arrived at Yuki's apartment, and she's off at the stove making some tea. I make sure to speak loudly so she can hear me from where she is. "Now, in reality... I don't have a solid plan yet. But I do have some ideas."

This gets everybody's attention. "Ideas for what, if I may ask?" Koizumi says with his eternal grin.

"For getting Kyon back!" I proclaim, also doing my best to give a bright, wide smile.

"Getting... him back?" Mikuru says timidly, cocking her head a little. I notice Yuki take a glance back at me as well.

"I won't say it's impossible... but what makes you believe you can?" Koizumi asks, placing a hand on his chin.

"An excellent question! I'm not certain that it can be done. All I know is that something really weird is going on. Think: I tell Kyon I hate him, and no more than a day later he's gone. I say I wish I was dead, freaking terrorists come out of nowhere to attack the school! That's no coincidence, don't you think? And not only that, but what about my memory? I still don't believe what I saw when you guys were explaining what happened then. And my real memory is getting hazier every day. Something fishy is going on.

"I'm no idiot; I'm smart enough to know something bigger is at play here. Almost like... Like somebody's trying to teach me a lesson, you know?" I notice Koizumi's expression change very slightly. Maybe he knows something I don't know. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. "And if that's the case, there's a chance of several things: this could all be an illusion. Or, what happened in the past will be restored at some point. Or I'm in a separate dimension entirely. Or something else will happen when I complete some sort of task. In any case, Kyon may not really be gone for good. In which case there's the chance I may have screwed something up because I was never supposed to know about it, or... well it's just speculation anyways."

Koizumi shrugs, saying, "I'm willing to bet you're right. If this is the case, what should we do?"

I fold my arms, as Yuki comes back with the tea kettle and pours us some tea. "That's the problem. I've got no clue. We've still got no idea which one of these theories is right, if any. I think that should be our first step. I mean, we could probably figure it out with logical experiments, right? Like another one of Koizumi's mysteries. In which case, it may be a good idea to get Tsuruya involved..."

"Good idea," Koizumi agrees, smiling.

"I-I have her phone number, if that's what you want to do..." Mikuru says, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

"Great. I'm sure we'll need her deduction capabilities!" I tell her, beaming. She nods, returning the smile. "Well if I'm correct, which theory is the most likely? I mean, certainly none of them are very likely at all, but evidence supports that something IS going on, and one of these may be the right explanation. From there, we can figure out how to proceed."

"I for one believe that your illusion theory is the most likely and plausible one," Koizumi says, his smile ever-present. "Just think—what do we know for sure? We all saw Kyon die. Except you, Miss Suzumiya. That means that for us, this is our reality, and for you, there was another. Either this is an illusion, or an alternate dimension where this did actually happen to Kyon. In which case you've either been displaced, this is all a dream, or you ate something that disagreed with you and now you're having delusions of grandeur!" Koizumi said with a laugh. I gave him a playful smirk.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. But there's also another problem..." I tell him, putting a hand on my chin in contemplation.

"Yes, I was aware of that as well."

"What problem?" Mikuru asks. She's totally clueless...

"'I think, therefore I am,'" Koizumi says simply. "We can all think for ourselves; our actions have a clear goal and a mentality behind them that is our own, which goes against the illusion theory. Not only that, but it also directly supports the dimensional theory above all the others. Or perhaps there is another alternative entirely; not a separate dimension, but a copy of the world you once knew, with a few changes made. And now your consciousness has just been transferred here, and combined with the one from this world."

"Yeah, you're right. That's also a possibility..." Sort of like saving data before a boss fight in a game... That would make sense. Whatever did this to me created a separate save file, and just went ahead with it. So... why, then? "Hey Mikuru, go ahead and call up Tsuruya, tell her to get over here!"

"O-okay!" Mikuru nods, stepping out as I take a sip of my tea. I wonder... if it really is possible to get him back. It has to be. It just has to. He can't be gone for good. That would be stupid. He never even died in the first place!

"Miss Suzumiya, I have a call I need to make as well. May I step out?" Koizumi says, that grin of his going on strong.

"Yeah, sure. I need to ruminate on this a bit anyways," I wave him away, and he expresses his thanks before exiting the room. He's probably calling his family to tell them he's alright. I'm surprised Mikuru hasn't yet, but as I understand, Yuki's got some problems at home, so she's probably not worried about her family. Now think... just how am I supposed to get him back? What do I have to do...?

/

Steam doesn't rise up into the air as one would expect when I turn the faucet on. I really need to clean myself, even if it means using the crappy hospital shower. I've been staying here at the hospital room for a few days now. Haruhi stuck by me when I was in trouble. So I'm certainly going to return the favor. I just wish I'd had the sense to bring a sleeping bag, because the couch is terrible.

I step into the tub and let the water fall on my back, sighing. It's kinda cold... "Kyon? Are you there?" I hear a familiar voice in my head. Well this is a bit awkward.

"Uh, yeah. I'm in the shower..."

"That's okay, this'll only take a second. You're not embarrassed are you? I can't see you or anything," Koizumi says, and I can see that disgusting smirk of his in my head.

"Just shut up and give me a status update," I scowl.

"Well, Miss Suzumiya hasn't made any more attempts on her own life, which may be of some comfort to you," he tells me.

I sigh in relief. "That's good. Is she doing any better?"

"Yes, her mental state seems to have improved. The celestials are tearing up closed space as we speak, but at the very least it doesn't seem to be a form of depression, and they aren't as active as they normally would be. Not quite as despondent as they have been in the past either, but they'll periodically refuse to attack anything, and sometimes even disintegrate on their own. It's quite odd, in all honesty."

"And what could that mean?" I ask, grimacing.

"Well," Koizumi starts, "I believe Miss Suzumiya realizes she has a problem to deal with, but doesn't know whether or not it can be dealt with. Of course, this problem in particular is causing a great amount of stress for her, but when she sees some way out of this situation, if she sees it may be able to be solved, it's like a ray of light shining through the darkness, one that gives her the hope and the tenacity to keep on pushing. Just a theory, anyways."

"So, this means she's realized what happened?" I ask. She's as perceptive as ever. The thought brings a smile to my face.

"Essentially. I gave her a small push, under the facade of helping her brainstorm, but she figured out the general idea on her own," Koizumi affirms. "This is the first time I know of that she's physically been aware of the paranormal situation she's in. I'm very curious to see what will happen, but also a tad apprehensive."

"Yeah, don't worry, you've made that clear enough..." I told him with a grimace.

"I'm sure!" I could practically hear his grin. "I'm simply glad she's doing better."

"You and me both," I say, frowning. "I'm sure the other you will be relieved to hear the good news as well."

"Of course. I'll continue to observe. Feel free to join me whenever you want, an extra set of eyes could do some good. Be sure to put some clothes on first though. I personally think it'd be weird to have an invisible naked man running around Miss Nagato's apartment," Koizumi says.

"I'm ignoring that," I mutter. "See you in a bit."

"And I probably won't see you ever," Koizumi said. And somehow, I felt his presence dissipate. The water's still not warm...

/

I sat in a very uncomfortable chair, my back hunched, resting my arms on my legs. I stare at Haruhi's motionless face, slowly breathing in and out. She seems so peaceful compared to her usual energetic, radiating-like-the-sun self. Like a rambunctious little lapdog finally settling down for a nap. Except she won't be up and yipping for a while. It's eerie.

"Gee, don't you smell nice."

"What the-?!" I recoil furiously, turning to see Koizumi's repulsive smiling face. "God I hate you."

He gives an annoying chuckle, and says, "Sorry, I couldn't resist; I just wanted to see you jump. Any news on Miss Suzumiya?"

"Yeah, actually I was just talking to you. The other you, I mean," I tell him. "He says she seems to be doing much better. She hasn't tried to kill herself again, and she's started to create closed space as well, which apparently proves she isn't depressed?"

"Good, that's very good. I'm glad," Koizumi says, his smile even brighter. "I'm glad. I was worried about her for a minute there..."

"Yeah, I know. Also, she figured out kinda what's going on."

"Oh, that's interesting," Koizumi mumbles, putting a hand on his chin.

"She realized that she's in an alternate universe, and that she has something to do. Now she's trying to figure out what that is," I explain.

"I see. That would likely cause some very strange problems in closed space, yes?"

"Yep, that's right," I nod. Man, everyone around here is way more perceptive than I am... except of course, Miss Asahina.

"In that case, I don't envy the alternate version of myself," Koizumi sighs, shrugging. "I do disagree with your method, but I have to give you credit; I've been able to take it easy the past few days. And normally I'd be opposed to the creation of closed space, but in this situation I'd have to say otherwise."

"I think things are starting to cool down a bit there, which is nice. It's certainly refreshing to know Haruhi's going back to her old self again."

"A comforting thought indeed." There's a moment of silence between us. It feels, awkward. We both just look quietly down at Haruhi, the picture of serenity. "I must apologize for losing my composure with you earlier. I didn't mean anything by it, I was just angry is all."

"Y-yeah, I get it. I would probably get angry at me too."

"No, it wasn't you, per se. It was just..." Koizumi stared at the ground, and huffed.

"I worded that badly. I know what you mean," I say. "You're just looking out for your friends."

"Something like that," he replies, smiling sadly.

"Weird though. I've never actually seen you get pissed off before. It was kind of startling," I say.

"Yes, the role I play in the group doesn't really allow me to get angry, so it's unlikely that you'll see that in me very often," he says matter-of-factly. "Ultimately, I'm just limited to whatever Miss Suzumiya believes I should be doing."

"That's a bit lame."

"Call it what you like. It's a job. But I don't think it's that bad. I get to do all sorts of fun activities with you guys, so it's less of a job than it is just me getting to be an average high-schooler for a while," Koizumi tells me, retaining his constant smile. I know I hate that he does that, and that's a fact. But it's kind of relieving, in a way, to know that it's back.

"Well, where's everyone else? Are they coming?"

Koizumi shrugs. "Don't know. I expect to see Miss Asahina, but Miss Nagato would likely only come if she was needed for something." A moment later, the door opened—speak of the devil—with Nagato on the other side of it. "Ah, there she is now."

"Nagato?" I say. "Hey. Do you already know what's going on?"

"Yes," she says, as she closes the door behind her. "I have news."

"Oh, really?" I say, raising an eyebrow at Koizumi. He was right, the bastard. "What is it?"

"Something is interfering with my control over the alternate universe in which we placed Miss Suzumiya," Nagato tells me plainly. You've got to be kidding! I knew it was only a matter of time before something bad happened.

"Are you serious?" I mutter, putting a hand to my forehead in exasperation.

"Yes," Nagato responds.

"Good, great, just great. Can you tell what it is that's messing with you?" I ask.

"I cannot. However it is interference similar to the interference on the mountain."

"So... it's the same thing as before?" I wonder aloud, narrowing my eyes.

"That is a possibility."

"That would be my guess..." Koizumi says, grimacing.

"So if it is this macro... quantum... whatever, then what should we do about it? Are you going to try to communicate with it?"

"That is still unknown. I cannot take action until the Data Overmind allows it," Nagato explains.

"Right... Well what would you suggest we do?"

"The Data Overmind suggests we watch the world very carefully for any unusual disturbances, and will decide whether the Macrospatial Quantum Cosmic Existence is a threat to Haruhi Suzumiya's or our own safety or not," Nagato says.

"I see..." I say, noting that she avoids telling me what she thinks about all this, and instead tells me the Overmind's decision. "How did they find this world anyways?" I ask her.

"The Data Overmind predicts that it is much like itself in that they are constantly observing alternate universes and dimensions."

"In that case, I'm surprised to see that it's taken them this long..." I sigh, placing a hand on my cheek. "Man, Haruhi's too weird for her own good. She's got all the wrong people taking an interest in her... No offense."

"..." Nagato stays silent, and maybe it's my imagination, but I think I can see a hint of a smirk on her generally expressionless face.

"In any case, we've really got to be alert now," Koizumi says. "Or, at least you do. I can't do much from the sidelines besides speculate, but what I can do, I will do."

"Good," I say. And just before Miss Asahina pushes open the door, a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

"Hi everyone!" she smiles sweetly. "Did I miss anything?"

I sigh, grimacing. "We should've just explained everything when everyone got here."

/

I wonder where he is, if not here. Kyon, I mean. What's he doing? What really happened to him? And if this is just an illusion or a separate world, what happened to me in the other one? Am I just gone? Or unconscious? That's weird to think about. That I have no idea what's happening to my real body. For all I know, I could be passed out in some dumpster in an alley somewhere. Where anyone could find me, and just...

Okay, time to think about something else. I've got more productive things I could be doing anyways.

"Whatcha thinkin' about Haru-nyan?" Tsuruya asks, sitting down across from me.

"What else? This is crazy," I mumble. Well, not crazy. Weird, but not crazy.

"Yeah, it is a pretty odd situation, isn't it?" Tsuruya laughs. "Although, I gotta say, I got a weird vibe from you ever since the day after Kyon supposedly passed away. Like you were different, or something. And I don't mean because Kyon was gone, but like... you know. Different. So it didn't really surprise me to hear that something weird happened."

"What really sucks is that I wanted this kind of stuff to happen. I dreamed of this kind of thing. And now that it's finally happened..." I sigh deeply, my shoulders slumping. "I can't even enjoy it. I practically caused a loyal brigade member to disappear! Do you... know how that feels?"

Tsuruya looks down at the floor. "Can't say I do." I didn't think so. There aren't many people who would ever be put in a position like this, and certainly not Tsuruya, of all people. I don't even know why I asked.

"Well, have you thought of any ideas yet?"

"Kinda. Think about it: what reason would some higher power who may or may not care about your actions at all have for taking you at your word?" Tsuruya replies, smiling.

"Good point. To teach me some kind of lesson. Likely to teach me not to... Not to take things for granted? Not to get angry so easily? But... what would be the point in that?" I ask.

"Well, several possibilities come to mind. Either we have a benevolent god, you're some sort of super-being yourself, or you're in line to become a god! Or all of the above! Nyahahaha!" I can tell she was joking, but she's kind of right.

"I happen to think the first is the most plausible," Koizumi says from the door, that ever-constant smile of his unwavering. "But I could be wrong."

"Yeah, I agree with Koizumi," I say, shrugging. "But it could also just be something to do. I mean, being a god is probably real boring, right? So maybe it's just messing with me to see what I'll do. For fun, right?"

"That's also a possibility. But this is a rather specific issue and solution we're dealing with here. If that's the case, then why you? And why this, for that matter? The probability becomes exponentially more unlikely. Of course, there is also the evidence that it has happened, and it is this situation, so it is definitely a possibility. But we can conclude it's the least likely."

"He's got a point too," Tsuruya says. "So... What're we gonna settle on?"

"I don't know. Each has its own supportive and unsupportive evidence... Which could mean... It's none of the above," I mumble. Tsuruya hums wonderingly, and Koizumi cocks his head slightly. Maybe it's some other type of being... like an alien or an esper, or even a slider. Could it be someone in the brigade? ... Certainly not Kyon! That's preposterous! Then again he is the only thing that changed, and I was fighting with him before all this started... Could it be...? No, impossible!

"Guys, I gotta... I gotta get out of here so I can clear my head," I manage to fumble through the sentence, standing up. "I'll be back."

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Koizumi asks me.

"Sure, as long as you don't talk too much," I tell him, slipping into my shoes and opening the door.

"You won't have to worry about that," Koizumi assures me, with a laugh. I continue on at a quick pace, not really deciding on a place to go to, just walking. _Kyon isn't anything special. Kyon isn't anything special._ Just keep saying it. Maybe you'll believe it.

Kyon isn't anything special. ...Right?

/

 **Yaaaaay got the next chapter in really quickly this time! I liked writing this, it was actually fun to come up with all the logic they used. Writing this really made me realize even more that Haruhi isn't an idiot; she can definitely figure things out. It's a wonder she hasn't figured out everything about the other brigade members already. Or perhaps she has but just doesn't believe it. Well, hope you guys liked this chapter. We still don't really know what Haruhi's next move will be, so any speculation is welcome. ;P Also I just realized how hard it's going to be to write Tsuruya...**


	7. Chapter 7

Kyon can't be a normal human being. That's the conclusion I've reached.

It's impossible. Just... impossible. Things that didn't make sense before are starting to... Like what happened at the mansion up on the mountain, and that whole thing with him falling down the stairs... Was that him transferring his consciousness to another dimension or something? In that case, it would make sense for him to be a slider or something like it. But then, why did Koizumi make up that stupid story of his? Does he already know and he was covering for him the whole time so I wouldn't find out? That's mutiny!

...God, I sound totally stupid, don't I? Kyon's not the least bit interesting. All of my instincts tell me he's the most normal of normals.

"But then... why him?" I wonder aloud. Ugh, this doesn't make any sense... I wish everything could just go back to normal. I don't want this. I don't want this, I don't want this. This isn't how it was supposed to be. Whatever came our way, we were supposed to be able to handle it, because we were a team. We were the SOS Brigade. But now...

I sigh in frustration. Damn it, I can't believe I'm thinking this, but... I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to do anything at this point to end this madness. He has to come back. He just has to.

"Koizumi. Tell me the truth." I look at him sternly. "Is... Was Kyon a normal human being?"

Koizumi smiles gently. "Quite. To the best of my knowledge, anyways."

I pause, frowning. "You're not lying?"

"I'm not, I assure you. If he was anything different, he never told me."

"Then what were you guys always talking about?" I look up at him, confused.

"What do you mean?" He tries to play it cool, with that goofy smile plastered on his face.

"You know. Those private talks you guys always had behind my back. Mikuru and Yuki too. What did you guys always talk about so much that was so important for me not to hear?" I ask him. I know he'll probably just give me some dumb excuse. But depending on how dumb the excuse, it could mean I'm on to something.

He sighs, and shrugs in resignation. "Well, if you must know, we had this game, you see," Koizumi explains. "I made it a secret from you so that you wouldn't interfere too much. Anyways, I developed these little games to keep them on their toes. I used my position as lieutenant brigade chief to keep Kyon from objecting, of course, and before long, he didn't mind it one bit. I make up a hypothetical scenario based on a weird problem having to do with our current situation. And then they would try to figure a way out of it. All those talks were just their speculation. I apologize for hiding this from you for so long, but I figured you'd want in on it too."

"Sounds fun," I say. "I would've liked to be a part."

"I figured as much. But generally the problems were surrounding you. It would be a little awkward if you were to participate in solving your own problem, and it would take the extra challenge of not letting you find out about this made up problem out of it. Not only that, but if you and I were to participate, how would they ever learn anything? You would solve the problems too fast, and they would never even have a chance."

"You make a good point. Though you could've just explained all that to me, you know."

He stood there, blinking repeatedly. "...Now why hadn't I thought of that..." That's way too complicated to be something he just made up on the spot... But I'm really surprised he never told me about it. Koizumi usually doesn't lift a finger without checking and double-checking with me first. It's cool to see that he took some initiative; that, I like. But it still doesn't make him any less suspicious. In any case, I absolutely don't like the fact that he's teaching them to hide things from me, but I don't think he did that on purpose.

It's really cold out today. I'm glad we're almost there. We're headed towards the tiny restaurant down the road. I don't know why, it wasn't originally our destination. I guess it's just where we ended up walking. We left Yuki's apartment not long ago, but we've already almost arrived. Actually, I can see it from where I stand. Gosh, I've got the worst headache. I should probably eat something when we get there. Though I've really got no appetite right now.

"Oh, do I have my wallet on me...?" I wonder aloud, reaching for my pocket.

"Don't worry about it," Koizumi tells me, "I'll pick up the bill."

"You sure?" I ask him, as we step over the threshold. "If I have money I can pay."

"It's my pleasure," he tells me, grinning. I feel a lot worse making a nice guy like Koizumi paying for me than I do making Kyon pay. I'm not sure why, but it just bothers me, for some reason. Maybe it's because Kyon never had anything else to contribute... Jeez, I shouldn't be thinking like that. What kind of asshole am I, anyways? I shake my head to clear it, as we pick a table to sit at.

"Hi there folks," says a small waitress, smiling at us. Koizumi gives a friendly wave, as she says, "What can I get you two today?"

Koizumi looks at me expectantly. I shrug. "I really don't want anything." He continues to stare. "Fine. Give me some pretzels or something."

He sighs, saying, "I suppose that's better than nothing. You know, I haven't seen you eat or drink anything in a while."

"Well..." I can't argue, because he's right. I don't think I've eaten anything in two or three days, and the last time I had any water was yesterday morning. "I'll be fine. I'm just not hungry."

He frowns, subtly. "If you say so." The waiter is looking at him, smiling patiently. He finally notices, and says, "Oh, I'll just take a coffee."

She nods, saying, "Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"So..." I murmur, putting my hand on my chin. "The big question: do you think Kyon is some kind of slider?" I can tell he was trying to hold it back, but Koizumi bursts out laughing, and I roll my eyes. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up. But I'm serious. I mean, think about it; the guy could be some kind of genius under all that stupid. And also a dimension-hopping weirdo."

"I sincerely doubt it," Koizumi says flatly, as he regains his composure.

"I know it's a long shot, but if you think about it, it kinda makes sense."

Koizumi ponders the idea for a moment. "Well, I can at least see where you're coming from. But I still just cannot see Kyon in that kind of role."

"Yeah, that's what turned me off to that idea too, but the evidence totally supports it," I agree. "It's strange to think about, isn't it?"

The waitress decided to show up just then with a moderately-sized plate of pretzel sticks. Now that I see them, I feel kinda hungry. "Here you are. Your coffee will be ready in a moment."

"Thank you ma'am," Koizumi says, bowing slightly. I also give a polite bow, and she leaves to go to her next customer. The place is unusually crowded right now, honestly. I guess a lot of people stop by here for their lunch breaks, or something. It's around that time. We got out of school at about twelve today, so I'm guessing it's one or two in the afternoon. It being crowded isn't making me uncomfortable, but I bet it's going to make it take longer to get Koizumi's coffee.

"So, what do you think Kyon is?" Koizumi asks me, giving me a curious smile.

"I think..." I pause. Just what is that guy anyways? He's... Kyon. That's who he is. There's nothing else I can describe him with but his own name. Kyon is Kyon, and that's all that he can be. Which is just tautology, I know, but I can't really answer a question like that, you know? To be honest, Kyon actually isn't Kyon—that really isn't his name. ...Wow, I don't even know his real name. I never actually asked him. And he never told me. I can't believe I never even bothered to know. I always just called him Kyon... and as far as I know he hates that name. Would he have told me if I asked? I don't know. Maybe he only lets the people he's really close to call him by his real name. Or maybe he would tell me because he wants to start a trend, make people stop calling him Kyon.

"Kyon... he's just... he's..." I hesitated. "He's Kyon. I don't really know much else about him, so I can't really say, you know?"

"I get what you mean," Koizumi nods. "It's hard to define a person, isn't it?"

"How would you describe him?" I wonder.

"Hmm..." He thinks about it. Taps on the table a couple times. I take a pretzel from the plate and nibble on it a bit. He snaps, saying, "I've got it. Kyon's that one guy who really is pretty smart, but is just really lazy and doesn't apply himself. You know, the guy who nobody really likes, and nobody really hates, because he doesn't draw any attention to himself. Which makes me wonder, what made you start talking to him?"

"Huh?" I'm surprised by the question. Koizumi wasn't around before we started the SOS Brigade. How did he know...?

"Oh," Koizumi recognizes my surprise, "he told me about your whole exchange and how you got the brigade started. I asked him about it, after all."

"Well..." To be frank, I don't know myself. "I guess he just has an interesting way of saying things. He gave me an idea. So I ran with it. And he just happened to be pulled along." Koizumi smiled at me, as if he was dissatisfied with that answer. "Well what do you want me to say? I really don't know how he ended up as part of the group. Maybe it was because he simply tolerated me, maybe it was because I unconsciously knew I'd need some kind of party-pooper to keep things from getting out of hand? I really don't know!"

Koizumi shrugged. "That's fine." He continues to smile, staring at me. It's kinda creepy. I grimace, ducking my head a little. He's purposefully being infuriating.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Right."

"Wrong."

"Huh?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up!"

"Yes ma'am," he puts his hand up, saluting. He can be really annoying if he wants to be. I don't believe I've seen this side of him before. Is this what he's usually like, when he's not being super complacent and everything? He's a weird enough person, and he seems to be one of those philosopher types, but I can't really tell much more about him than that. Wow, I really don't know my brigade members at all. I should really get to know them better, especially if I'm going to be the brigade chief... wow, it really puts into perspective how lackluster a job I've been doing. I've been so caught up with the activities that I've totally forgotten about my loyal subordinates.

"So, Koizumi..." I say, folding my arms and sitting back. "Tell me a bit about yourself."

"M-myself?" he stutters, grinning sheepishly.

/

"So, what's been going on?" Koizumi asks me.

"Well," I start, "Not much, thankfully. She's with you at a restaurant right now. You're talking about me, actually. Not that it's of any importance, but-"

"Sounds boring. Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong."

"Gee, thanks," I mutter, scowling at him.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Koizumi laughs.

"I'm sure," I roll my eyes.

"Well, you aren't the most exciting of people," Koizumi shrugs.

I see Nagato nod out of the corner of my eye. ... Smartass!

"Oh quit that! Aren't you supposed to be keeping an eye on Haruhi?!"

"I am," the alien tells me, unblinking.

"Oh yeah, I forget you're basically omnipotent..."

"I am not."

"You know what I mean! Oh, that reminds me, what happens to me here when I go to the other dimension thing?" I ask. Well, you'd be curious too, right?

Miss Asahina frowns. Nagato looks back at me. What, is it really that bad? "You kind of just turn into a vegetable," Koizumi says, with an annoying chuckle. "It's quite funny, to be perfectly honest."

"I think it's scary," Miss Asahina says, as she pours some tea. It seems she decided to bring a pot along. "You just sit there, and your eyes are all glazed over, and, and..." she stops, biting her lip.

"Sounds like I look really stupid," I mutter, looking away with an irritated grimace.

"Pretty much," Koizumi agrees.

Nagato stands abruptly, closing her book and setting it down on the chair she was in. "Nagato? What's up?"

She approaches me, and pauses a moment before blinking. "There is a situation that requires our attention."

/

We're standing on the sidewalk, stopped at a traffic light, waiting to cross the street. We've just exited the restaurant not a minute ago, and my legs are hurting for some reason. It's cold, quite cold, and it makes me wish I brought a bigger jacket. I can't stop shivering.

Koizumi notices my shivering, and takes off his own coat to wrap it around my shoulders, but I hold my hand up to stop him. "Don't do that, you'll freeze. I'm fine, just a little cold."

He nods, slipping back into the coat. "If you say so..." I should probably head home soon. My parents are definitely worried about me.

"Koizumi..." I bite my lip, reluctant. I'm almost afraid to ask him. "Do you... think I'm crazy? Do you think I'm wasting my time with all of this?"

He cocks his head a little. "If it's of any consolation... I am a firm believer in the paranormal."

"... Yeah," I mumble, smiling sadly. "Yeah, it is."

God, I can't believe I actually said that to him. I mean, to Kyon. I told him I wished he never existed. How could I say that? Am I some kind of idiot? I never wanted to hurt him, and I certainly never wanted this to happen. He's... part of the team. He's a brigade member. And that means it's my job to protect him. And I...

I'm the reason he's gone.

I'm a terrible chief. I can't believe I actually thought I was the only one for this position... I obviously can't handle it. God, I can't believe I said that!

"Miss Suzumiya? Are you okay?" I hadn't even noticed that the light changed. My hands are balled into fists, and I'm clenching my teeth just a little too hard. I'm feeling a little light headed now as well...

"I don't know. I... I need to sit down," I say, shaking my head. Koizumi helps me over to a nearby alleyway, setting me against the wall. I slump down to the ground, leaning on the brick. I can't believe I said that. What the hell is wrong with me anyways? It wasn't PMS talking, I was just being a complete asshole! Why? Why did I do that to him?

"Hey, you." I looked to my right, to see a scruffy-looking man looking around cautiously. He's bad news. We've got to get out of here, quickly. I try to stand up, but my head is spinning. I can barely move. I stumble onto my hands and knees, and release a shallow breath.

Koizumi immediately steps in front of me, also sensing the danger. I'm supposed to protect you Koizumi, get back behind me...!

"Is something the matter, sir?" Koizumi asks, his smile disappeared.

"Give me your wallet. Now," he says, taking a gun out of his coat pocket.

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Koizumi said, chuckling. What's to laugh about...? He reached into his back pocket, and handed over the wallet. "May we go?"

"You too," the man said, gesturing at me with his gun. Shit, I can't grab it. My entire body feels numb... My hands fumble around my legs, trying to find the pocket. I can't feel anything, I can't find it! My head feels funny, and my field of vision is getting smaller. Am I falling unconscious?! Damn it, why now?! This is not a good time for this!

"Stop playing around, give me the damn wallet," the man mutters impatiently. I try to speak, but all I manage to get out is unintelligible mumbling.

Koizumi laughs nervously. "U-um, don't worry about her, she's not feeling well. I'll get it for-"

"Get away from her, now!" The man shouts. Koizumi jolts back, surprised, and the man shouts again, but this time I can't hear what he says. His finger is curling tightly around the trigger, and he looks angry. No, this can't happen again. Not again, please not again. Before I realize what I'm doing, I bolt up to my feet (I think) and lunge at the man. I hear a loud noise, feel a sharp pain... somewhere. I can't even tell. All I can see is black. I can barely hear myself think. All I hear is Koizumi trying to tell me I'll be okay. Somehow, I sincerely doubt that.

/

 **Cranked out another chapter in record time! I've been working on this story a lot more frequently since I had a few ideas about it. I'm glad, because a lot of people were wanting me to continue this. I hope you guys are as well. :) This chapter was a little weird, I know, not much happened. But something big happened at the end! So, what happened to Haruhi? Did she end up getting shot? If so, will she die soon? I don't know myself, I was just writing! ... Okay that's not true at all, but tell me what you guys think. XD**


	8. Chapter 8

She's woken up now.

She stares through me, out the window. I furrow my brow in utter confusion. How did this happen? As far as I know, Haruhi didn't do anything here but throw herself in front of a gun. She saved Koizumi's ass, but... It's a wonder she isn't dead. If the bullet's trajectory had changed by even a couple centimeters in any direction, it would've killed her without a doubt. But somehow, no vital organs were damaged. In short, Haruhi is the luckiest unlucky person in the world. What I really don't understand is why she let herself get shot. She can wish for anything at all, so why wouldn't she wish for herself not to get hurt? Any way you look at it, it doesn't make much sense. Well, the surgeons carefully removed the bullet, and she's lying here in a hospital bed, just like she is in the real world.

...It's irritating.

"Why can't you just get this over with already?" I grumble. "This is insane!"

"Koizumi?" she says, as if on cue.

"Yes, Miss Suzumiya?" I didn't even notice the guy in the room. He was awfully quiet. So was Haruhi, for that matter.

"Consider it a thank you," she mumbles, continuing to gaze out the window.

"I'm... sorry?"

"For saving my life earlier. Thank you. I would've died in that school if you hadn't dragged me down there. So..." she turns to face him, smiling sincerely. "Thank you. I've been a bit of a brat lately, and I guess I've come to realize how selfish getting myself killed would be. I can't just leave you guys by yourselves, not if you really care about me. Not only that, who else would be the brigade chief? Even if I don't care about the rest of the world, you guys..." I see a hint of sorrow in her eyes when she says this, as she smiles so brightly. "I just couldn't stand to lose any of you. Besides, now that I look at it... well, it'd be stupid to give all this up. Not just you guys, but my life in general. I mean, there's no telling where I go after this—for all I know, this could be it. So I should spend as much time here as I can. It's like I'm always saying; just like we only get one year as 9th graders, or 10th graders, or 11th graders, we only get one life as the person we are right now. That, I know. So... even if it's through pain, I want to live my life to the fullest."

Koizumi doesn't answer for a while. He stares at the ground, unmoving. I can't tell what he could be thinking about. "I don't deserve your thanks. I put you in harm's way. And for that, I truly am sorry."

"No, you couldn't have known what would happen," Haruhi shakes her head, retaining her smile. "You acted calmly throughout the whole thing, and I'm proud of you for that. I just... I didn't want to lose another brigade member."

Koizumi pauses. "I can understand that."

"Yeah..."

There's a long moment of silence in the room. I feel like I shouldn't be here. Koizumi can tell me the necessary information when I come back, I don't need to be here. My conscience guilty, I start to walk away, and put my hand on the doorknob, before realizing that my hand is just going to go through it. It's convenient, yes, but somehow also annoying at the same time. And it begs the question, why can I stand on the ground?

"I want to thank you too," Koizumi laughs. "I get the feeling I wouldn't have gotten as lucky as you have."

"Mmhm," Haruhi nods slowly.

"I just... feel like I should've been the one there anyways, you know?" Koizumi mumbles. I can tell he was trying not to say anything when he immediately quiets down and looks away.

"Why?" There's another eternity of soundlessness in the room. I still haven't left, of course. Hey, would you?

"... I don't know, never mind," Koizumi answers with a laugh. "It's not important."

"But you admit it is something?" Koizumi hesitates to say anything. "I see. Why won't you tell me?"

"It's of little importance. There is no need."

"Well, we have all the time in the world to talk about 'unimportant' things," Haruhi reasons with a shrug. "Speaking of which, I've been meaning to ask you some things. About you, I mean." Koizumi looks up, with a cross between a grimace and a smile on his face. It would've been more subtle for her to have smashed his ribcage with a crowbar.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Haruhi laughs, "I didn't mean that the way it sounded! I just want to talk, you know?" Woah. Did Haruhi... just apologize? And for being rude and belittling, no less. She's... I've never heard her do that before. I'm amazed and—well, dumbfounded, to say the very least.

"W-what?" Koizumi shares my confusion. "What did you say?"

Haruhi raises an eyebrow, folding her arms. "Um... I said I'm sorry? Is something wrong with that?" She looks a little flustered, and her face is a bit red. She's definitely new to the word.

"Not at all," Koizumi replies, a genuine smile on his face for once. "It's alright, I didn't think you meant anything by it."

"So anyways, I wanted to know, how come you never give me any of your opinions or ideas?"

"Well, I just think yours are all so great, there's really no need for my own!" Koizumi must be lying through his teeth. We both know that's not true in the least, because if it was, I'd have to slap him.

"Come on, that's not true at all. There have probably been plenty of times where you've disagreed with me and just didn't say anything about it, right?"

"Maybe a couple..." Koizumi shrugs. "But not everyone can agree on everything, am I wrong?"

"So why don't you speak up?" Haruhi presses. "I gave you the job of second-in-command for a reason."

"Well... I suppose I think more highly of you than I do myself," Koizumi stutters, offering a nervous chuckle as he does so.

"Hm," Haruhi hums, narrowing her eyes slightly. And with that, she simply goes back to looking out the window.

For some reason, that simple hum gives me an eerie, foreboding feeling.

I decide I've had enough eavesdropping for one day, and I leave the room, feeling more than a little awkward—standing there unnoticed while they had what should've been a private conversation.

Koizumi exits right behind me, after he tells Haruhi he's leaving for a bit. I turn to glance at him, and figure he might've come to talk to me. "Kyon? Are you there?" he asks as he walks down the hallway. He puts his cell phone to his ear, as if he's speaking to someone on it.

"Yeah, I'm right here," I say, sighing as I match his stride.

"I just had a bit of a close call there. I think Miss Suzumiya is getting a little skeptical of me, which is something I'd like to avoid as much as possible. It's hard to act as I need to under all this stress. I know there's no way I can take any kind of break, nor would I ask. But I was wondering what you would suggest here? I realize I'm supposed to watch her closely, but it's difficult to do without her finding out more about me."

"I know, I know. If it comes to it, you may just have to reveal your true identity to her."

"That's quite a risky proposal."

"And what we've done so far wasn't risky?" I retort, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess I can't argue with you there. Even so, I'd like to avoid taking risks as much as possible. The more risky it is, then by definition, the more likely it is to fail. The more likely it is to fail, the more likely it is that Miss Suzumiya will do something rash, that we'll blow our cover completely, or that this entire plan will be for nothing," Koizumi says, smiling as he does. "Or, all of the above."

"Well, we can't just leave her be, that's not an option," I tell him, frowning. "If you're not staying for you, then do it for me, at least—whatever that is to you. I'd stay here in your place if I could, but time passes normally in the real world while I'm here, and I can't really do anything to interfere if things go south."

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't dream of leaving her side. But there's still the issue mentioned, regardless," Koizumi reminds me.

"We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. It would be a lot easier to know what we should do if we knew how she would react, and what she'd ask you about."

"I agree, it would, wouldn't it? But Miss Suzumiya is about as unpredictable as they come," he says with a laugh. "I guess I should get back to the room, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, probably. Talk to you later."

I enter back into my own world, that strange, adrenaline-like feeling rushing through me as I take a deep breath in. I cough a couple times, my mouth having been thoroughly filled with saliva by that time, and have a look around. There's... popcorn all over me?

I look back up at Miss Tsuruya, sitting only a few feet away, her arm poised to throw another piece at me. I scowl as coldly as I can. She laughs nervously, scratching the back of her head. "Well, your mouth was just hanging open, so..."

"Remind me never to take a nap again with you around," I mutter, caressing my now sore neck as I pick the crumbs off of my shirt. Man, that wasn't a good position to become a vegetable in...

"Oh, you're awake? I made some more tea!" Miss Asahina says, standing to fetch her teapot.

"A cup of tea would be amazing right now, honestly," I sigh, smiling warmly. Maybe if I pour some of Miss Asahina's nice, warm tea over my black heart, something beautiful will grow. I stare at the floor, biting my lip. Fat chance of that.

As Miss Asahina pours some tea into my cup, I see Koizumi gesture for me to come outside as he stands, and exits the room. I wait a few seconds after he leaves, and tell them, almost apologetically, "Actually I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a sec."

"Okay, see ya," Tsuruya says, giving me an almost suspicious smile. A little weirded out by it, I hastily leave, and look for Koizumi out in the hall.

He waves to me a little ways away, next to a drinking fountain. I look at the floor guiltily. He'll likely want to know how she's doing. As I make my way over to him, I can't help but reflect on how all of this is my fault. On how all of this could've been avoided. Well, I don't actually know that there was a better solution to the problem, but to be honest, I'm starting to think it would be better not to solve the problem at all. I mean, who knows if this is even working? Well, actually...

Haruhi apologized to Koizumi. I've never seen her apologize for something like that. In fact, I don't think I've seen her apologize to anyone for anything, I mean, she usually doesn't care who she hurts as long as she gets her way. So for her to say sorry for something so trivial... That's got to mean something, right? If nothing else, it means she's one step closer to getting out of there. She's definitely changed. Which, I think, is a good thing.

"Kyon. You and I never really got a chance to talk after the incident." Koizumi's voice snaps me back to reality.

"Yeah, I was-" I look back up at him, and his face... It scares me. I'm physically afraid for myself. I have no frame of reference, as I'd never seen this from him before, but he looks... angry. Still doing his best to retain a smile, but I can tell something is wrong. "Uh..." I can only manage to stutter after that.

"She's alright. Isn't she?" He puts a hand on my shoulder, and I can feel the animosity from him. It's a similar kind of feeling to the one I felt when Asakura attacked me. Such an intense feeling, I lose my words for a minute.

"Y-yeah, Koizumi, she's fine!" I tell him, backing away a bit, and shrug his hand off of me.

He sighs, his eyes narrowing, and his hostility beginning to diminish. "Good. That's good. I was worried there, for a minute. You seemed... out of sorts, when you returned. I thought something might've happened."

"Well, something did happen," I say, not thinking about the words before I said them, and immediately regretting it.

"Oh?" Koizumi says, taking a step closer to me, that terrifying feeling returning in force.

"No no, a good thing! Haruhi... she apologized for something. Something rude she said to you. It was... Nice to hear, actually."

"I... see..." Koizumi says to himself, a bit surprised by this news. He puts a hand to his chin, humming to himself in contemplation. "Believe it or not, this might just be working."

"You think so too?" I ask. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean Miss Suzumiya may not be asleep for much longer. Her apologizing to me is proof enough on its own, but..." He looks at the ground, deep in thought. "The fact that she was shot herself stands as hard evidence as well."

"How so?" I wonder aloud.

"Think about it. Both Miss Suzumiya's actions and words are generally self-centered, aren't they? So if she's not only willing to jump in front of a gun for someone else, but also not concerned enough for her own safety to employ-"

"Oh, I get it! She was focused more on keeping you safe than herself, so her powers didn't come into play!" I say, with a smile. Well, at least Koizumi is good at picking out the silver lining in a situation.

"Well, they may have, but likely only to ensure my safety. Although that breeds the question of why she didn't use her powers to stop the bullet instead of her own body," Koizumi ponders, folding his arms. "But still, it's a step in the right direction, even if it is a step through a minefield."

"I'll say it is. Though, honestly..." I trail off, thinking it may be better not to tell Koizumi what I was about to.

"Oh, that reminds me, what exactly does Miss Suzumiya need to do before she can exit that world anyways? You never actually told us." Koizumi asks me, a smile glued to his face. Looks like I'll have to tell him after all.

"Well... I don't really know."

"What?!"

"I can answer your question," I hear from behind me, and glance back to see a short little alien staring straight at me.

"Oh, hey Nagato," I did a small wave, giving her a smile. "Yeah, that'd be great."

"Haruhi Suzumiya must apologize for saying that she hates you and wishes for you to disappear."

There's a pause. A long pause. "You've got to be joking."

I can feel Koizumi's anger bubbling up again. "Kyon... Isn't that a little petty?"

"Don't look at me! I'm not the one who orchestrated all this junk, talk to her, alright?!"

Nagato blinks. "From what I could gather, I was able to predict that this would be the most appropriate solution and would best represent Haruhi Suzumiya's mental and emotional growth as a whole, taking in to consideration her usual tendencies and approach to situations."

"Yeah, but it doesn't make me sound like less of a tool!" I mutter, frowning. "And why would she apologize to me if I'm supposed to be dead?!"

"It certainly doesn't make you look better, does it?" Koizumi laughs lightly, reassuring me that he isn't going to take my head off. "Speaking of you being a tool, I'm surprised how well you're doing with all this."

"What do you mean?" I ask, frowning.

"Well, I'd think you'd be afraid that Haruhi would find out you did this to her," Koizumi says, giving me a cheeky grin, "a being who can will anything at all to happen whenever she wants. If I were you, I'd be at least a little worried for myself."

I pause. Shit, he's totally right. If she ever does find out... A lightning bolt will emerge from the sun and strike me dead where I stand immediately. I can't believe I never thought of that! "H-hey! She might not find out! And even if she does, that's a very hard thing to prove!"

"You make a good point, but given our fearless leader's impossible imagination, she may very well destroy you even without proof," Koizumi tells me with a shrug. He sighs, and shakes his head. "It was nice knowing you Kyon. It's a shame you have to die so young."

"W-wait! You don't know that I'm going to die! Y-you don't even know if she'll find out!" Damn it, I'm totally going to die, because she's totally going to find out. Koizumi, you've officially ruined what little life I have left.

/

I sit motionless on my bed, thinking. Koizumi... he always acts so easy, but he's pretty intelligent. And he's actually a nice guy. I guess I've been spending a lot more time with him than usual, so I notice it more. Why is he like that, then? Why does he just go with everything I say? Kyon, as dumb as he can be a lot of the time, is—was actually a relatively smart guy as well, and he wouldn't take any crap because of it. I mean, he thought through all of the consequences of our actions while also taking into consideration everyone's feelings and safety as well. If not for his lack of creativity and overall fun, he could make a really good leader. He would've made a great second-in-command, now that I think about it. He never could've been brigade chief, but he would've been a good right hand man. So what made me choose Koizumi anyways? Well, probably the fact that he isn't such a party-pooper, and I can just get away with whatever I want because all the people with any sort of rank agree. Wow, that was really selfish of me, wasn't it? And if I'm going to be a good chief, I can't be that way.

It's not that he's a bad second-in-command, but I wish he would fight me on some things, give me some of his input. I can't just do everything myself, it's like not even having a second-in-command in the first place. Even though that was the plan... What do—did I have against Kyon anyways? Jeez, now that he's gone, all the things he'd been saying to me make total sense: how selfish I am, how impulsive I am, how stupidly I act... I'm truly despicable aren't I? I say that I'm trying to make everyone's life better, and more fun, but all I'm doing is making my friends miserable. What kind of brigade chief does that?

"God, this job is even tougher than I thought it'd be," I murmured aloud, as the door opened.

"What was that?" Koizumi asks me as he enters the room, Mikuru at his side with a fresh bouquet of flowers.

"Miss Suzumiya, I'm so glad you're okay!" Mikuru doesn't give me a chance to answer, flinging her arms around me with tears in her eyes.

"Don't worry about me, I'm totally fine! And what's wrong with the flowers you brought before?" I take a glance at the vase on the bedside table, smirking. "No dumb scrap of metal is gonna stop Haruhi Suzumiya!"

"I-I know, I just..." Mikuru continued to cry as she held me, "I was just really worried!" I smiled warmly at her, patting her lightly on the head.

"Don't be. I'm not going anywhere."

/

 **Finally got another update in. It's been a while, but I like the way this chapter came out. Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Oh yeah, and special thanks to Martin III for pointing out a few important things, (which you may notice in this chapter) as well, and his detailed reviews of the chapters—it's really helpful. tTough all reviews are very appreciated. Thanks for reading!**

 **And for those of you who are wondering, the interference mentioned in an earlier chapter is very relevant, and wasn't just tacked on there to add tension. You'll see soon. ;)**


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